


Caught In The Headlights

by panpancake



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, BAMF Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Child Abuse, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Getting Together, Homophobic Language, Iffy Timeline, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve Harrignton is a mum, Unreliable Narrator, and want to see him safe, but not really, kind of monster billy, like the kids look up to him, not joking, steve will kill for the kids and billy, steve's bat makes an appearance, steve's parents aren't around, they're dumbasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-07-10 18:57:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19910605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpancake/pseuds/panpancake
Summary: "Please, believe me Max, it's not my fault," Billy groaned. "I tried to stop him, okay? I did. Please believe me, Max."Max sniffled and looked at through the glass at her step-brother. His skin was red and raw from the heat, but his face held pain that she had never seen before, not even when Neil beat him. She felt her bottom lip quiver with fear, the dread of not knowing what to do washing over her. Max peeled her hand off the window and reached for the pipe."Stop!""No!""Max!"AKA: An alternate ending to S3:E4 "The Sauna Test" that changes everything.





	1. I

"Please, believe me Max, it's not my fault," Billy groaned. "I tried to stop him, okay? I did. Please believe me, Max.” Max sniffled and looked through the glass at her step-brother. His skin was red and raw from the heat, but his face held pain that she had never seen before, not even when Neil beat him. She felt her bottom lip quiver with fear, the dread of not knowing what to do washing over her. Max peeled her hand off the window and reached for the pipe.

“Stop!"

“No!"

“Max!”

Three voices shouted behind her, warning her not to remove that pipe. But she was determined. Billy was not going to die or get consumed by this monster. Max was going to get him help if it was the last fucking thing she did. Max tightened her grip around the pipe that held the door shut and lifted it up at the same time that Will came running forwards.

“I can’t feel him,” Will shouted. “He’s not here.” The next kid to come rushing forwards was El, and Max could only hope that they were right. They were going to help her shithead step-brother, monster and all. Mike and Lucas soon came running to them, each child undoing a part of their trap. Max and El getting rid of the pole and the boys getting rid of the chains.

The steam and smoke came wafting out of the sauna like early morning mist, but boiling and harsh. And as Billy lay collapsed on the floor of the sauna, surrounded by broken tiles and glass no one knew what to do.

“Call Steve,” said El.

\- - - 

Steve was so tired of all this bullshit. Robin had finally cracked the code (and no he would not admit to her that it was pretty cool how fast she did it) and she had found the blueprints and now all they needed was someone to fit into those tiny, tiny vents. And, lo and behold, there comes Lucas’ sister prancing in and telling her that she would do it. There was no way that Steve was letting yet another kid get wrapped up in a mess like this.

He cared for them. He didn’t want to see them hurt.

So, as he walked back with a sundae to put more fudge onto, he wasn’t in the best of moods. Sue him. But Dustin wanted to see the Russian’s and now Robin knew and he was so sure that Erica wouldn’t keep quiet about this. There was no way to convince them to stop and go home. Yeah, Steve wanted to see the crazy communist Russian’s who seemed to be really fucking dangerous but he didn’t want to see people hurt!

The phone rung and Steve had to remind himself that he was still at work.

“Scoops A’hoy! Steve speaking, how my I hel—”

“Steve? We don’t have time for the greetings. We need your help because there’s another thing gong on a—”

“Mike? What the hell? Wait, slow down—”

“—nd Billy has been possessed—”

“—he’s not possessed anymore!” shouted Max.

“We don’t know that!” came Lucas.

“Mike, are you — are you guys safe? Billy didn’t hurt you did he? Is he still there? Who’s with yo—”

“Steve shut up and let me explain!” shouted Mike. “Billy was possessed by the Mind Flayer and then we trapped him in the sauna to burn it out of him like we did to Will and now he’s unconscious and none of us own a car! Will you please come get us?”

Steve took a final glance at Robin and Dustin trying to convince Erica to climb thorough the vents. He knew that there was a call to make: Go help the five kids and see the guy who beat his face in or help two kids and one of his friends find the Russian’s. 

But Steve wasn’t needed here. Robin was the smart one, Erica needed to go through the vents and Dustin was the one who first found the frequency. Steve wasn’t needed here. They would have realised it soon enough. 

“Where are you?”

“We’re at the pool.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Steve hoped that this was the right decision. He went into the back room and grabbed his keys and his bag and wrote a note for the trio that sit outside. ‘You guys seem to have everything covered, I’m helping out somewhere.’ he wrote in his chicken scratch before sticking the sticky-note to Robin’s head as he walked out.

“Steve! What the hell.” shouted Robin.

“Sorry I really need to go,” Steve said. With one last glance back towards them he froze, his eyes catching Dustin’s look of betrayal. “Take care of Dustin for me, will you Robin?”

With the sound of shouting and what suspiciously sounded like ‘I don’t need anyone to take care of me, Mum!’ Steve raced out the doors of the mall, jamming his keys into his car. Robin would look after Dustin, she was cool. 

He drove like a madman down the streets — taking shortcuts and turning corners tighter than he should. Hopper would have his head if he found out about is abysmal driving skills.

Steve’s car skidded with a stop as he slammed down on the brakes, the kids all waiting outside of the pool. And there lay Billy Hargrove, coated in sweat and somehow looking more peaceful than ever.

Steve slammed his door shut as he walked towards the kids — he wasn’t angry, just worried. “Everyone get in, I’ll help Billy up, and once we get back to my place we are calling Hopper.” A chorus of ‘no!’ told Steve that they were all reluctant to tell the adult, but Steve knew better. “No! We,” he said, hauling Billy’s arm over his shoulder and limping towards the car, “Are calling an adult.”

“But you’re an adult!” cried Lucas.

As Steve laid down Billy’s body in the passenger seat, the kids shuffling to get in the back, he spoke, “Oh, no! Remember what happened last time? We are calling Hopper as soon as we get back.” The car stopped in a pregnant silence as Steve started the car and drove towards his house. 

“We’re sorry,” spoke, surprisingly, Max. “We didn’t mean to drag you into this again.”

Steve sighed, pinching his brow, “It’s not your guys’ fault, okay? Just…we can’t deal with this alone. If it’s anything like it was last time then we need more help.” he spoke softly and hoped that the kids could see how much he cared for them. 

He drove the speed limit all the way home, lighting a Marlboro with his lighter. “Don’t smoke, kids.” they let out a weak laugh at him as he pulled up to his house, the lights shining through the curtains as if someone was actually there.

He turned off the car, cigarette hanging from his lips, before shutting his door and opening the passengers side. Steve lifted Billy’s arm over his shoulder again, his heat from the sauna burning through Steve’s uniform. “Okay, Will?”

“Yeah?”

Steve fished around in his pocket before throwing the keys at the kid, “Open the door.”

\- - -

Billy didn’t know what was happening. One moment he was having a shower and the next he was running towards that voice. It echoed and it bounced around his skull like a basketball.

He felt like he was burning and melting, like something was trying to get out (in?) of him. He could feel the pressure of someones hands — they were cold and thin — against his forehead.

“Billy,” said the voice. It sounded so small and childlike. Like a kid lost in a supermarket waiting for their mum. “Come and get me you piece of shit!” The voice echoed against his skull, the tiled wall in front of him fogging up and morphing and shifting until he thought he could hear something — something real.

“Fuck, he’s really hot,” said the voice. And, no, there was no way that that was real because he knew that voice and there was no way that those words would be coming out of pretty little Steve Harrington’s mouth. The walls around him looked a dusty pink, polka dot wallpapers lined the wall and — where had he seen this before?

He felt the cold fingers against his skull and inwardly shivered. Where the fuck was he and why couldn’t he open his eyes?

“I know,” said the voice. The one that echoed and called him a piece of shit. The one that he would fucking kill as soon as he could open his goddamn— “Will said that it felt like he was dying when he went through it.”

Of course. Harrington was too much of a fucking stuck up babysitter to say that.

The cold fingers left his head.

“I’m going to call Hop, alright? Just — keep an eye on him. I’m in the next room over if he flips out or something.” Billy could smell the familiar smell of smoke leaving his face and he longed for Harrington to come back. To ask him what the hell happened to him and why he couldn’t open his eyes.

“Billy,” said a voice and, oh, he recognised this one. “Billy, it’s me, Max. I — I’m really sorry for what we did but can you—” he hears her choke up and more shuffling. This time a different voice comes. One that he’s never heard before.

“I can help him.”

“El!” the echo-er shouts.

“I can help him.” Billy feels the shift in atmosphere, the shift in environment as he stares at the girl in front of him. 

“How are you here?”

She disregards what he says and looks up at him from her sitting position, “I’m here to help you.”

Billy looks around the rose coloured room again and down at his legs. He’s only wearing jeans and is sitting on a couch. It’s soft. “Why should I trust you.”

“I know what happened,” she says. “The monster. It got you.”

His eyes snap up to hers and he can see the pain on her face. The exhaustion and fear and emotions too raw for Billy to handle that he chokes up and speaks, “Where am I?”

“Steve’s.” That’s where he remembered this place from. From the one time that he had to pick up Max so that he wouldn’t get beat up by Neil, and Harrington had invited him in (even though the bruises on his face were only just starting to fade) and waited.

He still got beat up that night.

“I’m going to wake you up,” the girl said. She reached out her arm, looked up towards Billy as she did, “Hold my hand.” Billy had no fucking idea why he was so inclined to believe the weird girl in front of him. Maybe it was because of the absurdity of it all — a teen showing up in his dreams saying that she understood what he went through. What the monsters did to him. What the monster made him do.

He grabbed her hand tight and closed his eyes. Even if this was dream, or a fucking nightmare, if there was even one person in all of Hawkins, Indiana that could help him he would gladly accept. And as soon as he opened his eyes he didn’t feel the soft palms of the girl, but he saw the ceiling of the pink room with the polkadot wallpaper. He sat up, the blanket around his chest pooling in his lap.

The five kids that were sat on the floor looked at him in surprise, a flinch carrying itself around the room. He felt confused and exposed and boiling fucking hot until Steve fucking Harrington walked into the room, hands running through his hair as he spoke.

“Hop can’t make it — something to do with Joyce and Russians so you guys have to stay over,” he slowly opened his eyes and looked towards the kids, “How’s Bi—”

“What the fuck, Harrington?”


	2. II

“What the fuck Harrington?” Steve heard. His eyes darted to the, now, conscious man on his couch, his heart rate spiking. “Mind telling me what’s going on here?” Billy said, a snarl on his face.

Before Steve could speak up, he heard Mike start talking, “Ok, so, we might have trapped you in a sauna so that the mon—” but, with a nudge in the ribs from Lucas, he shut up quickly.

The kids were deathly silent, all looking towards Steve for the answer, “Why don’t you guys go and set up for the night?”

“But Steve—” Max said.

“Not now, Max,” Steve snapped, continuing in a softer tone, “I can sort all of this,” he waved his hand in Billy’s direction, “Out. You guys can just order pizza, or something.” And that was that. One by one Steve watched as his kids picked themselves off of the floor and into the lounge room. 

“Didn’t know you were a mum, Harrington,” said Billy.

“You don’t know a lot of things,” Steve sighed, moving to sit on the floor in front of Billy. Where the hell did he even start? Steve wasn’t around for most of what happened the first time — he was only fortunate enough to save Jonathon and Nancy from that monster the first time and—

“You going to start talking, pretty boy?”

Steve groaned, holding his head in his hands, “I don’t know exactly what happened to you but — hey don’t give me that look — I can queue you in on what the kids told me,” Steve paused and looked up, “And I guess this means that I have to tell you about everything else, as well.”

“There’s more?” Billy shouted, “So me being controlled by some stupid fucking monster isn’t all there is to this? And why — why is Max involved in all of this? Is it because of the rest of those fuckers?”

“Everything is tied to each other, Hargrove. Those kids went through so much, more than you could ever fucking imagine, so if you even think of laying a hand on th—”

“Calm down, Harrington. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of your little child orgy—”

“And here I thought that nearly fucking dying would make you less of an asshole,” Steve laughed, “I guess I was wrong! Again!” At his outburst Billy straightened. Steve knew he had to calm himself down. Yes, Billy was an asshole, but he was hurt and sick and had a fucking monster living inside of him for who knows how long. “The kids told me that they lead you to the sauna so they could burn the monster out of you. Like they did to Will. And they saved you and yet you are still so,” Steve groaned and tugged at his hair.

And as he opened his mouth he found that he couldn’t stop. It felt like taking a great weight off his shoulders, telling someone that wasn’t a part of everything about the demo-dogs and the demogorgons and the gate and the tunnels that lay underneath the small innocent town of Hawkins.

“Before you even came here there was a lot of shit going down. I’m not even the best person to tell you what happened but I am not letting those kids relive it again,” Steve reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cigarette, offering one to Billy, “A girl died in my pool.”

“What the fuck?”

Steve just laughed and it up both their cigarettes, “Barb, she, uh, I was having a party. Nancy and I went up to my room to, well, you know. And I thought that Barb had just gone home and then she went missing and god,” Steve laughed. “I was such an asshole. I treated it as if she didn’t die in my pool, as if it wasn’t my fault.”

“What do you mean?” Billy asked, smoke coming out of his mouth.

“Barbra Holland died in my pool. She was stuck in the Upside Down and it’s all my fault.” He didn’t know why he was telling Billy this. No one knew that Steve felt guilty, not even Nancy, but this was a new pair of eyes. Someone who needed to know everything, even if he was a grade-A-asshole.

Steve and Billy sat there for what felt like hours. Steve trading bits of information that he knew — how the bat that Billy was threatened with was his, and how he had used it to fight demo-dogs. How the girl that Billy had seen in his nightmares was called Eleven, El, and how she had crazy mind powers. How Hopper and her had closed the gate last time, how Will was possessed by a monster that very year.

The year that Billy had come roaring into town, knocking ‘King Steve’ off his thrown. 

The year that Steve had found out about the tunnels that lay underneath the earth of Hawkins. 

The year that Steve gained a spider-web like scar from where a plate was smashed over his head.

“When you came looking for Max that night and I stepped in, there was a demo-dog in the fridge,” Steve said. “I thought you were going to hurt the kids, so I blocked you. I knew that I couldn’t win a fight against you, I mean, have you seen you?”

Billy just laughed and settled into the couch, “And yet you still did it. Why?”

“I care about them. But don’t tell the little shits that, it’ll go straight to their heads.”

They laughed and Steve wondered how he got into this position. Laughing with a very shirtless Billy Hargrove as they talked about monsters and death and teenage girls with superpowers.

“Why were you so angry that night?” Steve asked.

At the question Billy quietened and pulled the blanket back up over his shoulders, “Neil was looking for Max, saying something about how it was my fault she wasn’t at home and then he,” Billy stopped and sneered, looking down at Harrington, “Never mind.” 

Steve wasn’t an idiot. Okay, maybe he was, but he wasn’t oblivious! He did notice when Billy showed up to school with bruises and cuts and burns all over his body. He knew that those wounds didn’t come from school fights or bar brawls. He had his suspicions.

Steve just didn’t want to believe that those type of monsters were real. He didn’t want to believe that there were more monsters, monsters that you couldn’t just kill and be over with.

But they didn’t just talk about the Upside Down and girls with superpowers and shitty home lives.

“What I don’t get, is why you so willingly gave up your title,” spoke Billy. “Why don’t you tell me about that, princess?”

“So you’re fine with understanding the tunnels underneath the town, the girl who died in my pool and being controlled by a monster but you don’t know why I didn’t want my title?” Steve joked, putting out his second cigarette on the ash tray, “I think, before you came here, I did care. But, it’s not everything, you know?”

Steve uncross this legs and laid down on the floor, vertical to Billy, hands under his head, “When I found out that monsters were real and those kids were fighting them alone I just—”

“Your paternal instincts cut in?” Billy said.

“Yeah, something like that,” Steve smiled.

They laughed as if they had been friends from primary school. Steve lifted himself off the floor with an ‘oof’ and lended a hand to Billy. He had the left the kids alone for nearly two hours, it was a surprise that he hadn’t heard glass shattering or rough housing in the next room.

“Let’s see what they’re u—” 

“STEVE!”

\- - -

El sat in one of Steve’s spare sleeping bags that he kept around, listening to what the rest of the party was talking about.

“We can’t just leave Steve in there, he’ll get eaten alive by Billy!” shouted Mike.

“Billy isn’t going to eat anyone—” Max started.

“We don’t know that!” chorused Mike and Lucas.

And as they started arguing again, Will sat down next to El, a book from the shelf in his hands. Will didn’t really know what to make of everything. From what he heard, Billy had really hurt Steve, but Will didn’t sense the monster.

If Steve was fine with Billy then he could talk to him, he didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about.

“El!” Mike called, “Why don’t we use your powers to listen in on what Steve and Billy are saying, that way we’ll know that Steve isn’t being murdered!”

“We could just listen to them from out here!” said Max. “And El isn’t a toy! We can’t just ‘use’ her!”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Uh, huh, sure.”

Will saw Mike’s shoulder tense up and braced for the worst. Yeah, Mike was his best friend and he loved him dearly, but sometimes his anger could get the best of him. Will dropped this book to the floor and made his way to the closed door that held Steve and Billy.

“STEVE!” shouted Mike, “Can you tell Max that she’s wrong and that I didn’t mean it like she said?” That was the end of that short moment peace, Will figured. And as Steve came running through the door, nearly falling on top of him, he was right.

“Who’s hurt? Are the monster back again?” Steve asked, his eyes frantic and looking around for all the kids. Will tugged on Steve’s arm and spoke, his voice quiet but his eyes filled with humour.

“Mike’s being stupid,” And Mike’s sound of outrage, Will laughed and he could see Steve’s shoulders relax under the kids’ laughter. “But so is Max.” At that he heard Billy laugh next to Steve and was reminded of what had happened that night.They had (hopefully) successfully rid Billy of the monster living inside of him. Will didn’t want anyone else to feel what he went through, even if this guy was an asshole like the others said. Will gave him a timid smile, making his way back to his makeshift bed next to El.

Mike was his best friend, but sometimes he didn’t really understand Will’s nightmares. If he ever woke up, he knew that El would be there to comfort him. Or better yet, he could knock on Steve’s door and just talk. Steve was good like that.

“These are the kids you care about, huh, princess?” he heard Billy say and the rest of the party laughed at the face that Steve had pulled.

“Oh, c’mon man, I told you not to tell them that! I’ll never hear the end of it.” Will knew that Steve cared, even before this. No matter how brave a face Steve put up he knew that he was just as scared as him. Yeah, for a while Will was wary of him. He did break his brothers camera after all, but Steve made it up to him. He apologised and bought a new camera and wasn’t a dick.

“Did you guys order food, yet?” Steve asked and Lucas answered.

“Mhmm,” he chewed over his slice of pizza. Will saw Billy rush over to the food, devouring it like a raging animal before his attention was snapped back to the sound of pillows and blankets hitting the floor.

At Will’s look, Steve smiled, “I don’t want you guys getting cold.” Will knew what Steve really meant. He had talked to Steve about what it was like, how ‘he likes it cold’ and how Will can’t stand feeling cold. Not even in summer. Steve cared more than he really let on, and Will was grateful.

Mike came rushing forward, pizza in hand, blanket in the other before he started talking mile a minute, “Hey Steve, so if you find that your wallet suddenly has $100 less don’t even sweat it—”

Steve laughed, running his fingers through his hair, and narrowed his eyes, “On second thought, you guys can fucking freeze.”


	3. III

He didn’t know why it was so hard to open his eyes. It was as if someone had glued them shut, or as if he had been asleep for years and years and years. Like Sleeping Beauty, but less beautiful. And, you know, a man.

Billy moved his eyeballs around their socket and blinked away the crust that kept his eyes closed, blinking the bright light of the room away. He knew that he was at Steve’s last, so there was no chance that he passed out from something his father did. 

Did he get a good nights’ sleep? His muscles were tight, almost painfully so. He could remember what he did last — he had dinner with the little shits and Harrington, and then he lied down on the makeshift couch bed in the living room. 

He remembered Harrington saying goodnight to everybody, making sure that they had brushed their teeth and changed into pyjamas. He made sure that they knew they could talk to him. That they could trust him.

Billy felt happy. Or content, rather. Seeing someone actually care about people was a change. Having someone take care of him was a change. His heart felt warm and joyous but—

He felt cold.

‘He likes it cold’, he remembers the little boy saying. He blinks open his eyes faster and faster until he can see around him hoping to see the stupid pink walls of Harrington’s house, or the kids or anyone, anything that meant that he wasn’t there, oh god, please let him be anywhere but near Neil—

The walls were dark, almost wet, like tar. They stretched on forever, and as Billy took a step forward he wasn’t sure if he was going to fall. But the inky darkness just waded below his foot, sending ripples through the liquid. He took another step into the space and felt something different, something like—

“Sand?” Billy said. He looked around, the darkness taking shape, convulsing like it was alive, until he recognised where he was. Home. California. This place didn’t feel like home, though. It felt darker, more sinister. As if something was leaning over his shoulder, watching, waiting, for him to take a wrong step.

“Is anybody here?” he shouted. “Show yourself!” but his voice only echoed further and further into the beach, his voice being swallowed by the ocean. The waves rolled towards him, swallowing the ground beneath his feet, but it didn’t feel like he was falling. It felt like he was being burnt alive.

Like something was moving underneath his skin trying to turn his body inside out, trying to get into his brain.

Something was inside of him, something that he couldn’t control.

Billy clenched his eyes shut as he dropped to the ground, no longer feeling sand. He was surrounded by the darkness again. The thing ripped at his skin, baring its invisible teeth against his skin and it bit down, thrashing beneath his flesh until he bled, until there was nothing left. 

Billy peeled his eyes open and looked down at his feet only to find his muscles that lay underneath his flesh, bones poking out in all directions. His chest heaved and fought against him. How were you supposed to breathe? 

His blood poured onto the darkness, mixing in and being forgotten as he lay screaming.

The thing inside of him was still there, wriggling and convulsing and moving under his skin, or what was left of it. And he needed it out. He needed it out of him.

He opened his eyes and, with shaking hands, reached out to touch his feet because this couldn’t be real, there was no way that there was still something inside of him, he couldn’t be a monster anymore. 

But as his fingers touched his flesh he screamed in pain, the stinging sensation somehow worse, he knew he was wrong.

He tried to pry his fingers away from himself but it felt like they were glued there and it was burning and burning and burning. He dug his fingers deeper, into his flesh, the parasite moving up his leg and onto his stomach, always moving.

And as it moved up, it undid his skin, as if his flesh was only a suit with a zipper, he screamed and he begged for someone, anyone to help.

“Why the fuck are you crying?” he heard. “Get up, you fucking faggot, I didn’t raise no son of mine to be a pussy.” Billy looked up and stared into the eyes of something more terrifying, something much worse than the monster unzipping his skin.

Neil.

\- - -

Steve didn’t sleep much anymore. He didn’t know if it was because of the woods that surrounded his house, or the pool that lay dormant in his backyard. But he could never sleep. And now that he knew there was a monster on the loose, well, he didn’t think he would ever sleep again.

He sat with a blanket around his shoulders and a mug of coffee in his hands. Normally when he was awake he would be busy, he would be reading or studying — catching up on things that he didn’t do in high school — but the kids were there. 

And he needed them to be safe. 

He needed them to think he was useful.

So, there Steve sat, mug in hand, wrapped as snug as a bug in a rug, bat next to his feet. It was comforting at first. To know that the kids were okay. When he sat awake on his bed, his radio next to him, he never knew what to expect. 

Would one of the kids radio him to say that Mike was dead? Would they say that El had been taken? Would they say that Lucas was beat up by Billy? Would they say that Max had gone missing? Would they say that Will was possessed again?

He never knew what to expect. But Billy waking up in the middle of the night, falling off his sofa and onto floor — narrowly missing Steve — and clawing at his feet was something he never would have thought of.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Billy muttered, eyes roaming, hands shaking and he looked terrified, and Steve needed to help, needed to be comforting. He needed to be useful.

Steve dropped his mug to the floor, not caring if the coffee stained the carpet, and put his hands on Billy’s shoulders, “You’re okay, you’re okay. You’re in my house, the room with the polka dot walls and the old carpet. There’s coffee on the floor and the kids are all sound asleep.”

Billy just stared straight ahead, his unseeing eyes glued on Steve’s. He begged to all gods that were listening to help him, to help Billy realise that he is safe. Steve wasn’t going to let anyone hurt him.

Not again.

Steve shuffled onto the couch, pulling Billy into a hug. He wrapped his arms around him and lightly rubbed circles into his back. He tapped out his favourite tunes — In Between Days by The Cure and The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen — until he felt Billy shift.

Steve felt Billy’s shoulder relax under his fingers, so he stopped rubbing patterns into his back, “You okay?”

“I don’t need your fucking help, Harrington,” said Billy, a snarl on his face.

“I know.”

“Then why are you helping me? Me, of all people! I beat your fucking face in and yet you insist to help me!” Billy shouted. Steve released Billy and looked at the kids behind him, sending a glare Billy’s way.

“Any louder and you’ll wake the kids up!” Steve whisper-shouted. He sighed and shuffled back, picking up his coffee mug and assessing the damage. That was definitely going to stain. He wondered if he would be able to get it out before his parents came back.

He almost laughed at the idea of his parents coming home.

“So, pretty boy? You going to answer me?” Billy shouted in a hushed tone, following Steve as they walked to the kitchen. The curtains were drawn and he could only hope that when he opened them in the morning, nothing would stare back at him.

Steve turning, pointing his mug at Billy as if it was a weapon, “I don’t fucking know! I just — I have to help people.” He lowered the mug and put it into the sink, grabbing a cloth and wetting it. “I told you about Barb and how I didn’t do anything and after everything — I have to do something.”

He walked back to the living room, cloth in hand, and put it over the coffee stain. 

Steve didn’t know why he was telling Billy anything. He didn’t deserve an explanation. But it was easier to tell the truth — not the fake lies that he has to tell his psychologist. Sometimes signing a government document wasn’t as cool as it seemed.

Billy sat down on the sofa, Steve placing himself next to him. He grabbed the handle of the baseball bat that lay almost forgotten at the end of the couch “This was yours? Fucking Christ, Harrington. Max nearly castrated me with this.”

Steve just laughed and crossed his legs on top of the couch, “I mean, you did punch my lights out.”

“You know I didn’t mean it, princess.”

Steve groaned at the nickname, burying his red face in his hands “Do you have to call me that?” Billy just laughed and nudged him with his foot. Steve would never admit it, but it was kind of endearing. 

“How long have you been up, anyway?” Billy asked.

\- - -

“I don’t know.” Steve said. But Billy knew that he was lying. From the way that he shifted his eyes to the way that he paused. Billy glared into the side of Steve’s head, his stupid hair blocking Billy’s view of his face. “…Since when you went to sleep?”

“Harrington,” Billy said, arms crossed, “The fuck, man?”

“I don’t want any of the kids to get hurt on my watch, okay?” Steve said. “Why do you even care about what I do?”

Billy knew that he was fucked. What was a supposed to say? ‘Oh yeah, I think you’re really fucking cool and would be totally down to bone with you,’ no fucking way. Steve wasn’t gay (or bi!), Billy didn’t even know if he was accepting!

Hell, from what he heard, Steve was dating Nancy and was about as straight as an arrow. And, even if he was interested, there was no way in hell that Steve would like someone like Nancy — straight laced and prissy and proper — as well as someone like Billy.

There was no way that Steve Harrington would like an asshole like Billy Hargrove.

“I don’t,” Billy said, “I don’t care about you.” and he knew that it was the wrong thing to say, but he knew that it was better this way. If Steve kept thinking of him as the residentiary asshole, then Steve wouldn’t have to deal with his shit.

And he wouldn’t be sad when Billy got the hell out of Hawkins.

Steve just mumbled something that sounded like ‘yeah, who does,’ under his breath and shifted his body around to face Billy, “What was your nightmare about?”

Billy scoffed, pushing himself up with his hands, and leaned into Harrington’s personal space, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“Holy shit I forgot that you didn’t have a shirt on.” Steve blurted, his face flaming up at his comment. Billy’s smirk dropped and he looked at Harrington because — seriously? And then leaned backwards and laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

Billy couldn’t remember the last time that he had truly laughed. Whole heartedly laugh. Not just some baby dick chuckle, or a curtesy laugh. An actual laugh.

He could feel Steve staring. Hell, he could imagine what he said next. Something along the lines of ‘be quiet, the kids need their beauty sleep’, but Billy kept on laughing and laughing.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry!” Steve laughed. “Why are we even laughing?”

“I don’t even know,” Billy laughed. “You being stupid?”

“Definitely me being stupid.”


	4. IV

It wasn’t long until the kids woke up. They all groaned and moaned and tried to pull their covers over their heads, but Steve wouldn’t let them. After laughing with Billy about him being stupid (Steve was never going to be able to live that down) he had made breakfast for the kids. They were going to need as much energy as possible to find out what was going on.

The kids all ate, wary of Billy, and talked in hushed tones. Steve could pick up a few things — asking where Dustin was, suggestions on how to find exactly where Hopper was.

It didn’t take long before the spread was demolished. Waffles and pancakes, tea and juice, fruit and cereal, every last bit of food on Steve’s dining room table was wiped clean. If there was one thing that would makes him go broke, it would definitely be the kids.

Steve shoved the last pancake into his mouth and stood up, collecting plates.

“I think that we should try and find him with El’s powers,” said Max. And, Steve could just feel the argument starting between her and Mike so, he stepped in.

“That is a great idea!” he said, mouth filled with food. He swallowed and moved to grab the rest of the plates, “What do you need?”

“T.V. and blindfold.” said El.

“I think I have a blindfold upstairs—”

“Kinky—” said Billy.

“And,” Steve emphasised, “You can use the T.V. in the living room.” He picked up the rest of the plates and rinsed them, slotting them into his dishwasher. Steve could hear the kids leave the table, saying their ‘thank you’s as they passed by.

To Steve’s misfortune, Billy stayed.

“And why does someone like you have a blindfold upstairs, princess?”

“Oh, come off it,” Steve said, ears turning red. He placed the last of the dishes and turned around, rolling his eyes at Billy. He walked up the stairs, pointedly ignoring the cold feeling of dread that creeped up his spine at the emptiness, and reached his room. 

Steve wouldn’t say that there was anything special about his room — yeah, he was rich, but his room wasn’t that different in comparison to a normal teens’. He liked music so he had records, he liked reading (which was a surprise, even for him), so he kept books. And he liked plants because it gave him something to care for.

Steve heard a whistle behind him and jumped, reaching for where his bat would normally be until he realised who it was. 

Billy.

He heard his draws opening and turned, realising that Billy still had no shirt, “You can borrow one of my shirts. Here,” he spoke, grabbing a clean white shirt off a chair, “This should fit you.”

“Thanks. It’s a nice place,” he spoke, pulling the shirt over his head and picking up some records, “Didn’t take you as one who would listen to The Smiths.”

Steve calmed his beating heart and searched through his sock draws for the blindfold, “You don’t know a lot about me.”

“I’d like to.”

What? “What?”

“I’d like to get to know you, Harrington.” Billy spoke, slowly.

Steve had no idea how the hell to respond to that. Billy didn’t actually seem like a bad person, he just seemed like he had problems of his own. And Steve wanted to help him, wanted to help everyone. He wanted to know Billy, too.

He picked up the blindfold and waved it triumphantly, “You can get to know me, later. We need to find Hopper.” 

The duo bounded down the stairs and handed the blindfold to El, the girl giving Steve a thankful nod in return. He didn’t really know what she was going to do. Yeah, he was involved in a bunch of the shit the kids went through, but he didn’t know everything. And he probably never would.

He sat himself down on the couch as El pulled the blindfold taught over her eyes and he waited. And waited. And waited. He felt Billy lean against the armrest of the couch next to him and looked up, giving him a small smile.

And they waited.

He wasn’t quite sure what they were waiting for, but from his place on the couch he could see El’s face scrunching up in focus. He only hoped that he had everything that they needed. Steve wasn’t the best equipped to deal with monster and teens with super powers or anything like this! So he sat down on the couch and didn’t say a word, hoping that he was being helpful.

Until the phone rang.

“Is that supposed to happen?” asked Billy.

“Steve!” Lucas said, “Get the phone!”

Steve bolted up from where he was sitting and raced for the phone, sliding across the floorboards as he went. He slid right past the phone, nearly knocking himself off his feet as he slowed down. He rushed back a few steps and picked up the phone.

“Hey, what’s up?” he said, tangling his fingers into the cord.

“Steve?” said a soft voice.

“Nancy?”

“Do you know where Will is, or, or any of the kids? I really need to—”

“Nance, they’re all with me. Hang on, slow down, what do you need to ask Will?”

“No time to explain, Jonathan and I will be there as soon as we can!” with that, Steve heard the familiar tone of being hung up on and softly banged his head against the wall. 

Nancy and Jonathan were going to come to his house and talk about monsters and demons. The last time they were all at his house was when Barb died in his pool and it was all his fault, all his fault, all his fucking fault!

“Nancy? You still talk to her?” he said.

“Yeah!” Steve shouted in surprise. “She’s really not that bad and — she’s happier with Jonathan if that’s what you’re talking about.”

“But are you happy?” Billy said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“How are the kids doing? Has El found Hop yet?” Steve deflected. He knew that he was as transparent as glass. He really was happy for Nancy, he just wasn’t happy with himself. He couldn’t remember the last time that he was ever content with himself.

And with Nancy expressing how she felt in a drunken poem of sharp words and harsh truths, it felt like someone had broken his coffin and dirt and grime had flooded through. When she spoke to him that night it felt like he was suffocating.

Billy just narrowed his eyes and walked back to the living room.

\- - -

Billy knew that Steve was lying. Even if he wasn’t good at detecting bullshit, he would have known. Hell, even a newborn baby would have been able to tell! Steve Harrington was lying about being happy and Billy Hargrove was going to do something about it. Even if it meant that he had to confront a certain girl.

He leaned himself up against the couch’s armrest, waiting for the strange girl to do whatever it is she was doing. Billy didn’t really know their names properly — he knew his shithead sister, Max, he found out that the echo-y voice was Mike, the kid with the bowl cut and wide eyes who was the freak’s brother was called Will, the black kid that Max was shagging was Lucas, but the girl? 

He knew so much about her, he knew about her powers, about what she did when he wasn’t here. Billy had his eyes opened when Steve told him everything. He pretended to understand and not freak out but, monsters and girls with powers and government silencing records? 

It was all too much.

The doorbell rung and he had to hold a snarl off his face. The camera freak and Steve’s ex were here. He heard footsteps and a sudden stop. The door slamming shut and hushed shouting before he heard them come closer.

“What are you guys doing?” Nancy said, closely followed by Steve and Jonathan.

“As I was trying to tell you—” 

“Nancy?”

“Jonathan?”

“Guys, shut up, or else El won’t be able to find—”

“What the hell is Billy doing here?”

“Billy got infected by the monster—”

“But I am not infected anymore—”

“Infected like Ms Driscoll—”

“Who the fuck is Ms Driscoll—”

“Shut the fuck up and let me speak!” shouted Steve. “We are trying to find Hopper and Joyce because they need to know about the monsters that infected Billy. But, the kids burned the monster out of him so, he is safe!”

The silence in the room as Steve raised his voice was more deafening more frightening than anything that Billy had witnessed, albeit Neil. He could swear that everyones hearts stopped. 

“He’s walking,” said El. “Ill-i-noise? What’s Ill-i-noise?”

Mike rushed forward and dropped to his knees, talking calmly, “Illinois, are they in Illinois?”

“They’re driving there. To find someone,” she took off her blindfold and folded it in her lap. 

“We won’t be able to call them,” said Mike, “But at least they’re safe.”

Billy leaned his weight back onto the couch, Steve moving from his spot in the doorway to sit next to him, “What did you want to ask us, Nancy?”

Billy followed Nancy with his eyes, seeing Jonathan wring his fingers nervously behind her. He could see why Steve would like someone like Nancy. She seemed strong and powerful, she looked like she was prepared for anything.

“You’ve had a run in with the monsters—”

“The Flayed.” said Mike and Lucas.

“The Flayed, right, but do you know anyone else that might have been infected?”

He could just feel the stares directed to the back of his head, so Billy spoke, “Heather. Heather Holloway. I remember doing something to her — bringing her somewhere.”

“Do you know where you took her? There might be a secondary location that they’re all going to, somewhere we could kill it.” said Nancy.

“My last few days were hazy, like my thoughts weren’t my own. I can see parts of the days, but I’ve lost so much.”

“We need to go to her house,” said Steve. “We should see if she left any clues, I mean,” he shifted his focus to the girls, “You guys saw Billy and Heather when they were being controlled.”

“It’s our only lead,” said Jonathan.

With that, Billy saw the kids rush to the car as if it was their last hope (and it might as well be). He walked out of house, pretending not to see Nancy pulling Steve away to the kitchen.

They all piled into Nancy and Jonathan’s car, Steve soon joining Billy in the very back seat. He would have pushed one of the twerps out of their seats, but he felt like that probably wasn’t something he should keep doing. He wanted to be better. He had to be better.

Nancy skidded across the road into the driveway, everyone hopping out of the car. Steve climbed out, offering a hand to Billy and he took it. He watched as everyone walked into the house. He could vaguely remember it. He remembered dragging bodies and hurting people, he hurt so many people that night—

“You good to go?” said Steve.

He swallowed down his tears and gave a smile, “I’ll just wait out there, keep an eye out for monsters.”

Steve leaned against the car door and lit a cigarette, offering one to Billy, “I’ll stay with you. Can’t have one person out here all by themselves.”

Billy would never say it out load, but he just wanted to throw his arms around Steve and give him the best fucking hug that anyone had ever felt. He couldn’t go back into that house, not with his memory, but he sure as hell didn’t want to stand in the dark, alone while a Mind Flayer was controlling people.

He lit up the Marlboro and took a puff of smoke. Billy had no fucking idea when his life got so complicated. Before the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer, before Steve Harrington, everything was calm. Or as calm as life can be with an abusive asshole living in his house.

“How are you holding up?” Steve asked.

Billy shifted his weight to look at the person next to him, “What do you mean?”

“You did have something controlling you for god knows how long,” Steve fumbled with an un-lit cigarette in his hands, “And you’ve just been roped into this mess.”

“It’s fucking insane.”

Steve laughed, “I know,” he leaned back against the car, facing Billy, “You know, before we drove here Nance tried to talk to me about you.”

“Is that so, pretty boy? What did she have to say about little ol’ me?”

“She said that—”

But before Billy could finally hear what was on Steve’s mind he was interrupted by the devil themselves.

“Steve, Billy,” said Nancy, “We need to go to the hospital.”


	5. V

“Nancy, why are we going to the hospital? Is — is one of the kids hurt?” Steve said as he slammed the door shut.

“No one is hurt, but, we found something,” she said. “Billy and Heather took Tom somewhere and, if we’re lucky, Ms Driscoll will be able to lead us there.”

Nancy reversed the car out of the driveway and sped off, not leaving any time for them to do up their seatbelts. Everyone lurched forwards, Billy stabilising Steve. The car was silent, almost deathly so. If they were able to find out where the infected were taking people, then they could stop this.

And no one would have to know what he did.

“We saw that they were eating chemicals,” said Max.

“Wait but, wouldn’t that kill them? Wouldn’t that mean that,” Steve turned and looked in Billy’s eyes, worry and confusion apparent on both of their faces, “Wouldn’t that mean that Billy would be dying?”

“Real comforting, Harrington.” 

“No, I didn’t mean it like that—”

“He should be fine,” spoke Nancy. “When you guys burned the monster out of him it probably took the chemicals with it.”

“We should still get him checked at the hospital.” 

“If that’s what you want to do, Steve.”

Billy did not want to go to the hospital. Hospitals were all clean and sanitised, filled with people pretending to care about him. He hated hospitals. They always asked questions — so many fucking questions — when all he wanted to do was get patched up.

He didn’t even want to think about what was inside of him. The monster — how it made him eat chemicals and hurt people. He just hoped that there was no long-lasting damage. Or, at the very least, physical damage. Billy had no fucking idea how these people — these kids — dealt with all of this shit.

It was pathetic, really.

The drive was quiet apart from the whispers of the kids. He really wanted to hold Steve’s hand, and he had no idea why. Maybe he just wanted comfort, to make sure that everything was real. 

It wasn’t a long drive. They were there before he knew it. One by one, everyone piled out of the car, Steve and Billy coming out last. The hospital was large and imposing above them — Billy hated hospitals.

“Let’s go.” said Jonathan.

They walked through the doors and past the desk and, this was it, this was how everything was going to end. They would let Ms Driscoll out — whoever the hell she was — and she would lead them to the nest of the monsters. Then they’d defeat it. They’d kill it and bury it under the ground and everything would go back to normal.

They’d turn everyone back, everyone who was infected, just like they did with Billy. No one would find out what happened and they’d all pretend it didn’t happen. He would go back to being a lifeguard, the kids would go back to school andHarrington would go back to working at the mall.

And they’d act like nothing ever happened.

Billy didn’t want to forget about Steve.

“Two visitors!” said the woman behind the desk. “Patients are only allowed two visitors. You’re trying to bring in a whole zoo!”

Nancy reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a name tag, “I was here before, for Ms Driscoll. I was back and—”

“I don’t care who you are, honey. Two visitors.”

“We’ll be less than a minute.”“Two visitors.”

Billy saw Nancy run her hands through her hair and grab Jonathan’s hand, “You guys will be okay here, right? We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

“We’ll be fine, just hurry.” said Mike.

Billy sighed and looked around. Hospitals were the worst.

“We need to get you checked up,” said Steve. “And I am not taking no for an answer. We have no idea if there’s still shit inside of you.”

“Yeah, and what are we gonna tell the nurses? ‘Oh, sorry, I just swallowed a bunch of bleach that I mistook for alcohol’?” snarked Billy.

“I don’t know! Can’t you just — bat your eyes and say please? I mean, I’ve seen it work on tons of people—”

“Like Mike’s mum?”

“Oh come on!” said Mike.

“Sure, like Mike’s mum.”

“Steve!”

“I’m sure he’s just joking!” said Steve, then in a quieter voice asked, “You are joking, right?”

Billy just wiggled his eyebrows in response, getting a ‘gross!’ out of Steve and a flick on the arm by Max.

“When I get back from the car we are going to get you checked up.”

“What’re you getting, princess?”

“Just my bag — it has a radio in it, just in case someone reaches out.”

Billy watched Steve walk out fo the hospital, nearly tripping on the carpet on his way out. He was such a fucking dumbass, but he liked him. Maybe more than he should. Billy shifted his weight, going to stand next to Max.

He could hear the kids fighting again — he wondered how Steve handled all of them. He seemed to really care about them, actually care about them. Steve acted more like a parent to kids that weren’t even his than Neil did to Billy.

“He’s good for you, you know.” said Max.

“What?”

“Steve.”

Billy scoffed and turned his head, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Maxine.”

“You like him!”

“Not so loud, Jesus!” Billy said as he sat on the chair next to her. “It wouldn’t even matter if I did.”

“Shoot your shot, Billy. I promise you won’t miss.”

“No way am I going to ask out St—”

“Who isn’t Billy going to ask out?” asked Steve, bag in hand.

“Stacy!” shouted Billy. “Maxine wants me to ask out Stacy.”

“Stacy? And here I thought you wanted your brother to be happy,” Steve said, offering a hand for Billy to take. “C’mon, we gotta get you checked up. You guys better be good while we’re not here, okay? I’m leaving Max in charge.”

“What?” came a disappointed shout from Mike and Lucas.

“She’s more responsible than you guys — hey, don’t you even try to deny it!” said Steve.

“She drove Billy’s car!”

“You what, Maxine?”

“Okay, no driving cars, no getting in rides with strangers, no running off into the darkness. Got it?”

“Got it.”

\- - - 

“Do you even know where to get this stuff tested, princess?” asked Billy.

Steve had no idea where to even start. He didn’t come to the hospital much — yeah, in the past few years he’d taken his fair share of injuries, but it’s not like he was able to explain how he got them without context. He never wanted anyone else to get in trouble. Going to the hospital was never a viable option for him.

He always patched himself up.

But this was different! This wasn’t some flesh wound or dislocated shoulder, Billy had swallowed chemicals that should be killing him.

“I wasn’t joking, you know? You could just bat your eyes and say please.”

“Or we could just make up a lie.”

“…Or that.” 

They walked away from the kids, Steve putting on his best ‘boy next door’ smile, and approached the lady at the front desk. 

“Hi, hello, my friend here just wanted to see if there was anything harmful in his stomach. Do you know where we might find someone to help us with that?” Steve spoke.

“What type of harmful are we speaking?” she said, eyeing Steve’s uniform.

“Uh, chemicals?” at the woman’s blank stare Steve anxiously tapped his fingers against her desk, “Like, detergent and window cleaner?”

“And how did he end up with that in his stomach?”

“Well, you see—”

“Actually,” she said, typing in her computer, “I don’t want to know. Go to level 4, there should be someone to help you there.”

Steve wasn’t the best at lying on the spot. He knew it, the kids knew it, hell, even this receptionist knew it, so he was beyond glad that he didn’t have to say anything more. He just hoped that Billy wouldn’t bring up him lying about being happy.

He grabbed a hold of Billy’s arm and walked into the elevator, pressing the ‘4’ button. 

“Real smooth.” smiled Billy.

“Oh god, I felt like I was going to die. Did you see the way she looked at me? I thought she was going to call security to throw me out!”

“Pretty sure she was eyeing you up, princess.”

“Man, c’mon she’s married!”

They stepped out of the elevator, the lights flickering overhead, “Are they supposed to do that?” asked Billy.

The lights blacked out, leaving them in complete darkness, “I don’t think so.”

They felt around the walls, walking down the hallway. It seemed to stretch on and on forever. Steve gripped the straps of his bag tight, waiting for something to go wrong. They slowly shuffled across the floor, hands pressed against the wall for support. All they could hear was each others breathing.

“We’ve been waiting for you.” said a voice, the lights flickering on.

“What the fuck?” said Billy.

“Ever since you showed us salvation, we’ve been waiting for you to come home, Billy.” 

Steve swung his bag off his shoulder, unzipping it as fast as he could, “Billy, run.”

“It’s too bad that now, we’re going to have to kill him to get you back.”

The blonde man reached out to Billy, clamping one of his slimy fingers on him. And he dug his nails into him until he bled, until the black veins spread from the man to Billy. And Steve saw that Billy wasn’t moving. He wasn’t fighting back.

He needed to protect him.

Steve threw his bag to the floor, pulling out his bat and holding it until his knuckles turned white, “Stay the fuck away from him!” 

Steve charged, raising the bat, only to be punched back. The man let go of Billy, sweeping his legs out from underneath him and giving him a punch to the face. He stalked over to where Steve lay on the ground, pulling at his hair to make him look the man in the eye.

“You’ve made a mistake getting involved. If only you knew how to keep your pretty little mouth shut.” 

Steve spat at the man’s face, blood and saliva spraying itself everywhere, “Fuck you.”

The man slammed his head into the tiles of the hospital floor, shattering them on impact. He picked up Steve’s limp body and threw him to Billy, the boys landing together in a tangled mess of limbs and wounds.

Steve rolled to his side reaching blindly for something — anything — to hurt this guy with. Any weapon he could use to kill this man. This man was one of the flayed, it was the only reasonable explanation. And he was angry.

Steve pushed himself up, diving for his bat and ignoring how his bones shifted uncomfortably underneath his skin.

He held the bat tighter and swung, landing a blow to the guy’s head. He watched him fall to the ground, a web of black veins spreading themselves over both sides of his head. He lifted his bat over his head and slammed it down — once, twice, three times — watching as the mans face caved in, leaving grey goo all over the floor.

Steve screamed and shouted and swore as the nails of the bat dug themselves deeper and deeper into the mans skull, the bat was stuck! He stomped on the mans skull, using it as leverage as he pulled his bat out, spraying the wall with the goo.

“Steve, stop! Steve,” Billy shouted, racing forwards, “He’s dead, it’s okay.”

He grabbed Steve by his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Steve dropped the bat to the floor, resting his bloodied face on Billy’s neck. He had so many thoughts running through his head — were the kids okay? What about Nancy and Jonathan? How badly was Billy hurt? What did the flayed mean by ‘take Billy home’?

Steve could feel his heart racing underneath his flesh so, he breathed long and deep, grabbing onto the back of Billy’s shirt, and hoped that everyone was okay.


	6. VI

Billy was freaking out. No, that was an understatement — his body felt like it was overflowing with anxious energy. He had felt that man cling onto him, get inside of him. He felt the monster in his stomach clawing its way out.

He was scared to look, but he knew if he did, he would find that the veins of black ran up his arms. But he couldn’t look, no, he wouldn’t look. He had to be normal, they promised him that he wasn’t a monster anymore.

Hot, wet liquid fell onto his shoulder and — he couldn’t think about this right now! Steve was there and he saved him and he killed that thing, that monster—

Was Steve okay? Was he hurt? Billy didn’t believe in God but he hoped, he fucking pleaded and begged with everything last bit of energy that he could muster, that Steve was okay. Please, God, let him be okay.

“Do you hear that?” Steve asked. Billy felt him lift his head, turning out of his arms, “It’s moving.”

He wretched his eyes open and stared holes into where the man should be, but he wasn’t there. In his place sat a convulsing mess of organs and goo, pulsating. He felt his stomach shifting inside of him and hoped that he wouldn’t become like it.

The offal lurched and moved forward, down the hall, leaving a trail of black in its wake. Steve stepped towards it, one foot in front of the other.

“Billy?”

“Steve?”

“Get the bat.”

Billy dropped to his knees, grabbing the handle of the bat and let it lay limp at his side. The monster shifted and turned down the hall, the way they were going to go. It sped up its pace moving with purpose. As if it was searching for something. As if that something was near.

Steve turned the corner first, his hair caked with blood and plastered against his skull, “Nancy?”

“Steve?”

Bill sped up his pace, placing himself next to Steve. His eyes followed the monster that hurled itself down the hall and met — Nancy and Jonathan? 

“Billy?” said Nancy, “What are you guys doing here—”

The monster that they fought merged with the other, convulsing and pulsating like it was alive and hungry. The lights flickered and stopped, blanketing everyone. Billy could hear Steve’s breathing, the hitch in it as the lights went out. The slight shake as he breathed in.

He could see the exit sign, so close yet so far. He could make a break for it. He could run and run and drive away and never have to deal with this again. Billy could hear Steve’s breathing speed up next to him. He couldn’t go.

The lights flashed on and Billy was blinded but he could still hear. He could hear the horrid scream the monster let out as it moved. He could feel Steve’s fingers clasp around his wrist and pull him back.

“Steve, run!” shouted Jonathan.

Billy tightened his grip around Steve’s bat and pulled ahead, dragging Steve behind him. He turned down the hall and tried the first door, the second, the third — locked! They were all fucking locked! He slammed his fist against the wall and could feel the monster approaching, didn’t even have to look at it.

He pushed Steve in front of him, twisting down another corridor, and barrelled into a door that he hoped was open. They tumbled, but Steve righted himself and slammed the door shut. He turned the lock the and backed away.

“Billy?” Steve said. “I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Billy asked.

“For getting you into this mess.” Steve flinched at the sound of the monster slamming into the door.

“It’s not your fault—”

“Wait,” Steve shushed. “It’s going under.”

“What?”  
“It’s going under the fucking the door.” Steve said, his breathing haphazard.

Billy stared at the mess of guts as it crawled into the room. He gripped the bat firmly in both his hands, but what could he do? How was he supposed to kill this fucking thing?

“Steve!” shouted Nancy, the door handle jiggling. 

Billy could hear the door being pounded into by Jonathan. He knew it wasn’t going to be enough. He was going to die here, consumed by this fucking monster. And he would never — he would never be able to tell—

The monster formed back up again, the guts and black goo hardening into a slimy mess of a being. And it stared right at Steve. It let out a terrifying howl, flinging one of its arms into Steve’s stomach, sending him flying.

Billy stood frozen, watching as the monster creeped closer to Steve, nearly lying on top of him. He raced towards it and slammed the bat into its back, the door flying off its hinges.

“What the fu—” spoke Max.

The girl — El — screamed and raised her hand, flinging the monster into the wall, the bat crashing to the floor. She let out another scream, blood trickling down her nose, and slammed the monster into the wall adjacent.

She raised both of her hands and Billy dropped to floor, watching as the monster crashed into the window, sending shards of glass everywhere. He raced to the window and watched as the thing liquified and slid across the pavement.

“Are you okay?” asked Billy, his hands on Steve’s face.

Steve nodded and used the wall to push himself up, “We gotta go.”

Billy raised one of Steve’s arms over his shoulder and helped him limp with the rest of the group. The took the stairs two at a time, hurrying to the main floor. They burst open the doors of the hospital just in time to watch the monster slither down the drain, disappearing.

“Get in the car.”

\- - -

The drive is silent and unnerving and Steve wishes that they would just talk. His knee feels wrong, it feels really bad. It shifts when he moves even slightly and he wonders how he made it this far.

Steve thinks the only thing keeping him sane is the slow circles being traced into his thigh by Billy. He choses to ignores the faint black of his veins. He knows he shouldn’t.

He knows that he’s going to have to get his knee fixed. When he used to love basketball, actually tried to win, he would get injured all the time. He knows what’s happened — a dislocated knee — he knows that they’ll have to pop it back in.

And he knows that he shouldn’t walk on it, but he’s going to safely store that information in his brain and tell no one. They don’t need to worry about him.

They stop at his house , pulling into the driveway. Nancy and Jonathan open the doors, Jonathan helping Steve walk. Steve fishes the keys from out of his uniform pocket and unlocks the door. He limps in and sits on a kitchen stool, raising his leg.

“Anyone willing to help me with this thing?” he asks.

“I wi—” start Billy.

“I can help, Steve,” says Nancy, striding over.

Steve closes his eyes, attempting to run his fingers through his hair, and listens as Nancy speaks, “Could you try and find where those monsters came from If you could find Tom or—”

“I’ll try,” she says, walking into the living room.

Steve hops that Nancy will be gentle.

\- - -

El sits herself on the floor and reaches for the blindfold that lay next to the television. She knows what she has to do. She could find the monsters through the bad men that Nancy mentioned. And then they could kill it.

She hears someone moving closer and turns, looking up into the eyes of Billy. He was menacing, but not scary. He didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore.

“I have an idea,” he says as he sits on the floor. “What if you try and find that monster through me?”

“How?”

“When it attacked me it latched on,” he twists his arm so that the faint black veins are visible. “I think it’s still in me.”

“I can try.”

El almost smiles at the sigh of relief that Billy lets out. He isn’t a bad man. He is Max’s brother. And Steve trusts him. She can trust Steve. El reaches for the blindfold in her lap and puts it on. She reaches out and grabs Billy’s hands, holding them tight.

“Close you eyes,” she says.

El opens her eyes and looks around. She’s on a beach. The wind is raging and cold against her skin. And there’s a woman there, a pretty woman. She waves her sandals around and smiles. She seems happy.

She laughs and hugs a boy?

“Did you see that?” he smiles.

Was he Billy? El looks around her, at the sand and the waves. She’s never been to a beach. Maybe Hopper would take her to one, someday. She looks back at the boy, he’s pleading to stay.

“Not any longer than that, otherwise Dad’ll be mad, okay?” says the woman.

El watches as young-Billy runs towards the water. She hears the crack of lightning and feels the sun shift above her. It’s close. She’s close to the Flayed’s nest. El digs her feet into the sand and walks closer to the sound. The clouds in the distance lighting up like fireworks.

She closes her eyes. She’s not afraid.

“What, did I raise a pussy for a son?!” she hears a man scream.

She snaps her eyes open and sees the boy running. El doesn’t know why but she needs to catch up to him, to stop him. He’s running head first into the source. She runs and she turns to take a good look at the man.

He’s scary. He reminds her of the bad men.

El pushes through the dust and the clouds and sees it again. She sees them fighting. She watches on, helpless, as the man hits the pretty woman in the face. As the man beats Billy to the floor. 

El closes her eyes and runs and runs and runs. She doesn’t want to see this — she knows! She knows what it’s like, she doesn’t want to see it again, she doesn’t want to see it happen to someone else—

“Hello? Who’s there?” she hears Billy shout.

“Billy?” she whispers, opening her eyes. “Where are you?”

She walks towards the building in front of her, catching sight of the car with the smashed windshield. Was this what happened to Billy? Is this how he was infected by the Mind Flayer? She ignores the pain of thorns in her foot and keeps walking.

“Brimborn…Steelworks.” El says, taking off the blindfold. “That’s where you crashed.”

“When I went to see…” Billy trails off. “But you found it? You’re sure that’s where the source is?”

“You were the first to be infected,” Max says, sitting not he couch. “That we know of.”

“So it has to be the source.” says Lucas.

El can hear Jonathan rummaging through phonebooks and papers. She hopes that he’s finding where Brimborn is. She squeezes Billy’s hands, his being rough and blood stained, hers being soft and clean.

“I know what happened.” she says.

“You told me, I got infected at Brimborn—”

“The woman with the yellow sandals,” she whispers, Jonathan talking to the rest of the group in the kitchen. “The beach.”

“My mum. She was pretty.”

“The bad man. He hit you.”

Billy flinches back as if El had stabbed him in the stomach, letting go of her hands, “How do you know that?”

“I didn’t mean to — your mind was open,” she says. “It happened to me to.”

“What?”

“I grew up with bad men, too.” 

She reaches for Billy hands and gives them a squeeze. He glances down at her with glassy eyes and gives her a small smile. On that she knows holds pain and suffering. One that they all hold. She pulls Billy into a hug and vows to herself that she will help him. El could ask Hopper for help. He would help.

“Steve?! If you do not open this fucking door I swear to god! You left us with crazy Russians and now Robin is in some base alone!”

The shifting of chairs and the lock turning then—

“Dustin?”


	7. VII

“Dustin, what the hell?” Steve said, Dustin rushing past him into the house.

“When you left us alone we got Erica to crawl through the grate—”

“My sister Erica—”

“—We found this massive fucking Russian base underneath the mall! And Robin is down there being tortured by Russians—”

“When the fuck were there Russians in Hawkins—”

“And we need your help to get her out before she gets fucking killed!” Dustin shouts, out of breath.

What the hell did he leave? The last Steve knew, they were just finding the Russian base not infiltrating it! Christ, if he knew that Robin would get hurt he would have stayed! But then Billy and the monsters — this was a shit-show. A fucking shit-show.

Steve wrapped his leg hastily, eyes locked with Dustin, “You are going to come with me and we are going to get Robin out—”

“What the hell is Billy doing here?!” shouted Dustin, and Steve groaned.

This was going to be a long night, “He was infected by this monster, but he’s all good now. Change of heart and all that. Now, do you want to waste time with chit-chat or go save Robin?”

Steve grabbed the handle of his bat and swung it over his shoulder. Fuck, did his knee hurt. He was probably going to slow everyone down, but he needed to do this. He was the reason for Robin being pulled into this mess. He was going to get her out of it.

“This is a stealth mission, Steve! We are not taking that thing with us.” said Dustin, as he yanked the handle out of Steve’s grip. “Let’s go!”

“Oh, no,” laughed Billy. “There is no way that I’m letting you go anywhere like that, princess.”

Billy walked towards the door and held it open, an expecting look on his face. He signalled with a dip of the head that they needed to get going. Nothing was going his way today, huh?

Steve sighed and grabbed Dustin’s arm, pulling him out of the house and into the backseat of his car. He walked around the front of his car and stopped, because, why in the hell was Billy sitting in the drivers seat?

“Dude, c’mon. Get out.” Steve said.

“You’re not driving with that knee.”

And with that, Steve rounded the front of his car and sat in shotgun. Billy reversed the car, making Dustin knock his head on Steve’s seat, and sped away from the Harrington Household.

“Why are you letting Billy drive your car? Steve, the last time you were in the same room with him he beat you up!”

“I’m right here you know.” said Billy.

Steve sighed and massaged his knee, “People change, Dustin. You don’t need to worry about him anymore.”

Steve knew that Dustin wasn’t going to trust Billy anytime soon. He didn’t even know when he had started trusting him. The past few days had been hectic and now things were better (or worse?) and Steve had no idea what the hell he was going to do once everything was done. Once everything normal.

Maybe he would get out of Hawkins. Leave this godforsaken place and never look back. But he knew he couldn’t do that. Not with the kids still here. If something happened to them when he left — he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

“Turn here!” shouted Dustin, his hand on Steve’s seat.

Billy made a harsh turn, Steve almost knocking himself out on the dashboard. He gave a quick glare to Billy, receiving a small smile in return. Steve heard Dustin jump out of the car, closing the door behind him. 

He swung open his door, ignoring the pain from his knee, and closed slammed it shut.

“Let’s go beat up some Russians.” said Billy.

Dustin ran towards a storage unit, ushering everyone in. Steve had no idea what he was doing. How was a room supposed to lead them to Robin and a secret Russian base? Steve sighed and walked in, sitting on top of a crate. Billy came in soon after, crossing his arms on a start crate.

“Dustin, what the hell are we doing?”

“You’re going to want to hold on.” he said, pressing a button on the door.

“What do you mean ‘hold o—” started Billy.

Steve was so fucking glad that he was sitting down. As the storage unit — elevator? secret compartment? — lowered into the ground, he couldn’t be happier that he was sitting down. Billy soon lost his balance and fell on top of Steve, crushing his bad knee. Steve let out a groan of pain, Billy stabilising himself with the help of Steve’s shoulders.

The elevator stopped with a start, sending Billy and Steve forward. Dustin just stood there, an impatient look on his face, “Come on! We need to save Robin.” 

Billy picked himself off the floor, lending a hand to Steve. He took it graciously and tried to lean his weight onto one leg. His knee was going to be so fucked after this. He should have just gotten it checked when they were at the hospital. Steve was such a hypocrite.

“Do you even know where we’re going, short-stack?” asked Billy, as he hovered near Steve.

“Yes and we need to hurry up if we want to see Robin alive!” he shouted.

Steve whipped his head around and glared at Dustin, speaking in a hushed whisper, “Didn’t you say this was a Russian base? Won’t they expect more people to come through if you were caught before?”

“Okay, so, I didn’t think about that, but!” he said, turning around, “I know the way in, we could just beat them all up, get Robin and sneak out.”

“You mean, I can beat them up.” said Billy, walking.

“No, I mean Steve can beat them up.”

“Did you see his knee?”

“He’s had worse.” said Dustin, running around a corner.

“Yeah, like what?”

“When you beat his face in!” shouted Dustin, pointing a finger at Billy. “Steve may trust you, but I sure as hell don’t, so don’t even think about acting all buddy-buddy with him.”

“Dustin—” Steve sighed.

“We’re here.” said Dustin, as he crouched behind a corner.

\- - -

Billy had no idea what the kid’s problem with him was. Yeah, he did beat up Steve, but they worked it out! They talked and understood each other. Billy wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Steve, not even himself.

Maybe he was just jealous. Billy never had anyone care about him like that — in a protective way. The kid treats Steve like his family, worry about him as if he was the most important person in the world. Max never did that. But she’s trying to — so is Billy.

Billy tightened his grip on the wall. The place was swarming with Russians! They were all talking and muttering amongst themselves. Billy had no idea who this Robin girl was or what she meant to Steve — but he was going to help. 

“So we need to go through there?” asked Steve.

Dustin made a noise of affirmation and sneaked around the outskirts of the base. It was crazy — a kid shouldn’t know how to avoid being seen (even though he’s known how to all his life).

They raced across the floor and opened a door, everyone filing in. Billy kept his back to the door and saw someone who he could only assume was a doctor and freaked. He acted on instinct and swung his fist into the side of his bald head.

The Russian man fell to the floor with a groan, holding his head in his hands and shouting words in Russian. He could see the others freeze at the door, the girl screaming from underneath her duck-taped mouth.

The doctor reached for his apron and pulled out a scalpel, brandishing it in his hands with force and strength. Billy ran towards him and knocked the scalpel out of his hands, but the doctor grabbed his wrists, stopping him from doing any more damage.

Steve snapped out of his stupor and raced towards them, head butting the Russian man in the face. Billy didn’t want to take any chances, so he stamped the heel of his shoes into the face of the man, crushing his jaw. Steve fell to his knees with a thud, the room buzzing with silence and blood.

“Steve! You won a fight!” shouted Dustin.

“Not the time, Dustin,” Steve said as he peeled off the duck tape from the girl’s mouth. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

The girl smiled slightly and rubbed her wrists, “You stopped them before anything too bad happened. They were going to drug me and rip out more of my nails and,” she gave an affection punch to Steve’s shoulder, followed by a quick hug, “Thanks, Harrington.” 

Who the hell was she? Was she Steve’s girlfriend? He had mentioned her briefly — he only said that he worked with her — was he lying? Billy tamed the snarl on his face and analysed his bloody knuckles. What was he even thinking? Steve would never like someone like him.

He shouldn’t have given himself hope.

“Robin, I swear, we’re going to fix everything, okay? You won’t ever have to deal with this again. We just need to get you out of here, okay?”

“I’m not a porcelain doll, Harrington.”

“I know, just making sure.” Steve said.

Billy opened the door slightly and peeked out, seeing another Russian man heading their way, “Hey guys, we got a problem.”

Billy closed the door, leaning his weight against it as everyone looked around. He sure as hell hoped that they knew a way out of here. The girl — Robin — searched her pockets for something, pulling it out with a triumphant smile.

“They vents!” she shouted.

“We already know that we can’t fit through the—” Dustin started, only to be interrupted by Robin.

“Football players can squeeze through things smaller then that vent, so you can do it.”

Steve lifted Dustin up, Robin handing the kid a scalpel from the doctors tray. Dustin unscrewed the vent and heaved himself in. Steve then bent down on one knee, beckoning Robin to step on his hands. He pushed her up, Dustin pulling her into the vent. She wiggled slightly and then she was gone.

“There is no way that I’m fitting in that.” said Steve.

“We don’t have much time, princess.” said Billy.

Steve pulled himself up, using his weight to his advantage and squeezed in, his shoulders squishing down. Billy watched as Steve wiggled himself in, his legs hanging out. He walked towards Steve and pushed him up, gaining an ‘oof’ in response.

Billy dragged a crate from the floor, for better leverage, and lifted himself up and into the vent. It was a tight fight, but he would make it. He had to make it. Otherwise he was going to be beat up by Russians and he would never see Steve or Max or anyone ever again.

Billy crawled through the vent, slowing down every now and then so he wouldn’t run into Steve’s ass. In every other circumstance, he would be happy about his predicament — being in a tight space with Steve Harrington, all hot and sweaty? An absolute dream. But he didn’t like Billy. He liked that girl. Robin. 

“We’re almost there,” assured Robin.

Billy heard a clatter of metal against flooring and sped up. He saw Steve nearly fall flat on his face before lifted himself out of the tight vent, sweat and grime covering his borrowed shirt.

He was glad that he was out of there. But he knew that they couldn’t stop running now. 

They ran through the back of the ice cream parlour, scaring customers and civilians alike. They ran and they ran, before they found the back of the mall. They raced to Steve’s car, Billy unlocking the doors, and piled in. Billy shoved the keys into the car and put his foot down on the pedal, driving away from the mall and back to the safety of Steve’s house.

“Is anyone going to tell me who the hell he is?” said Robin.


	8. VIII

Billy slammed the car door shut and walked into the house. He had helped Steve save his girlfriend, been decent to the little twerp and hadn’t said anything nasty on the way home. And he was so fucking tired. It felt like something was draining all of his energy for Christ’s sake.

Explaining who he was to Robin was interesting to say that least. The first thing that Dustin had said was that Billy had given Steve the scar in his hairline. From the plate he smashed over his head. He wasn’t proud of it — beating up Steve — so he didn’t know why people made such a big deal out of it.

Whenever Neil beat him Susan would turn a blind eye. She would never worry or fuss over him. She would never bring it up. And yet, he beats Steve up one fucking time and it is all anyone can ever talk about.

Billy knows that Steve trusts him. But maybe he shouldn’t.

He was dangerous and he had hurt him. And he knew that he would keep hurting him. That’s just the way that he is. That just the way that Neil made him. And he fucking despised it.

“Where the hell is everyone?” spoke Dustin.

“What do you mean where is everyone? They’re all—” Steve stopped and looked around his empty house, “Not here.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” said Billy.

“Fuck you, Watson.”

Steve walked up the stairs, followed by Dustin and Billy wanted to chase after him. He wanted to hug him and keep him off his feet — he knew how a fucked knee felt — all he wanted was this nightmare to be over. Instead, he was left downstairs with Robin.

“You guys can compare your dick sizes later,” said Robin. “Are you going to explain to me what happened last year? You said that there was a girl with superpowers and—”

“I really wasn’t there for any of it,” snarled Billy. “Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

“Well you’re the only one that’s here — Steve’s probably ripping out his hair trying to look for those kids of his,” sighed Robin. “Wait — boyfriend? Who said I had a boyfriend?”

“Harrington. ‘Bout this tall,” motioned Billy, “Big hair, six children, cute sailors uniform?”

“I know who he is, dipshit. But how did you — why did you think he was my boyfriend?”

Billy groaned and shoved his hands into his pockets. Why was she denying it? It wasn’t saving anyone from anything. If anything, it was hurting him more! He walked to the kitchen and sat on the stool, pointedly ignoring Steve’s bloodstains.

“Have you seen the way he cares about you? He dotes on you and broke into a Russian base for you—”

“Billy,” Robin smiled, “It’s not like that.”

“Uh-huh, sure. I mean, it’s not like Steve Harrington was everyone’s crush a couple of years ago. Nope, not at all.” Billy snarled.

“Billy,” Robin said, leaning against the counter, “I’m not like that.”

It was useless trying to convince him otherwise. He just wanted to know why they wouldn’t tell him. And, what the fuck did she mean she ‘wasn’t like that’? Of course she was! There was no other way to be unless she was—

Unless she was gay.

“Oh,” said Billy, eyebrows raised. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Robin joked. “Plus, Steve would do that for anyone. Have you seen him? Yeah, he was a douchebag before, but he’s turned into a self-sacrificing jerk. He’d probably throw his body onto a fire if it meant protecting someone.”

Billy felt really dumb. Really fucking stupid. He was so ready to throw away maybe his only chance for someone to love him. Because he thought that they were dating a girl who was gay and had no interest in him. Wow. 

And he knew that he was fucked now, because, Robin had to know. She had to fucking know who he was, who he liked, for her to spill a secret like that. To tell him who she really as after hearing what he did. She had to know.

“Have you told him yet?” asked Robin.

“Have you?”

“Yes, actually,” she smiled. “I was having a shit day and he was there. I didn’t really mean to do it — it just came out. But he was cool with it, the idiot. He even told me about who he had a—”

“Yes?” Billy asked, heart beating.

She knew who Steve liked. Steve had told her who he liked. Who was it? Who was his competition? Which girl in Hawkins, Indiana had caught Steve Harrington’s attention?

“I shouldn’t be telling you this,” she said. “You know what, just ask him out. I’m not playing middleman.”

Billy groaned and softly beat his head against the table. Of course she wouldn’t tell him. Robin wasn’t just going to expose Steve like that. He carded his hair through his hands and closed his eyes.

He would have never imagined a year ago that he would have a hard on for Steve. Yeah, he liked him a bit before he had a monster inside of him, but he never thought that he’d be able to let someone know, let alone talk to him. He accused him of fucking Max for God’s sake!

Bill banged his head against the counter once more, hoping that he could just bash his emotions out of him. If only he didn’t think about Steve this way. It would make everyone so much more easy.

He rested his cheek against the counter, the coolness spreading throughout his body. He felt fucking disgusting.

“Are your veins supposed to do that?”

\- - -

Steve ran down the stairs, Dustin trailing behind him, with a radio in hand. The others had gone to Hopper’s cabin out in the woods because of the Fourth of July. It was ingenious, really. People would be driving by his house all the time — it was a wonder they were never caught or questioned. 

If they were out in the woods no one would be able to find them.

He skipped the last step and pulled two jackets off the coatrack near the front door, “Billy, Robin, let’s get going.”

“Steve, something’s wrong!” shouted Robin. “I don’t know what’s happening — we were talking and then he just—”

“I’m fine—”

Steve rounded the corner and stormed into his kitchen. He could see Billy there, his veins throbbing with black goo and his body sweating out fo every orifice. His sweat dripped down his nose, leaving a slick shimmery line on his face.

“Dustin, buddy, wait in the car,” Steve said, fishing out his keys and checking them behind him blindly. 

“But what about—”

“Get in the damn car, Dustin!” Steve shouted. “You too, Robin.”

“Steve, I don’t think you should—”

“He’s is going to be fine. He has to be fine, okay?” Steve said, pulling on a jacket.

Robin nodded at him and walked out of the kitchen, dragging Dusting with her. Steve waited until he hear the door shut before he turned to Billy. He knew what was wrong. He knew it was going to fucking happen. 

The kids said that they burned the monster out of him. They said that Will couldn’t feel him. But what if something so small was left? What if a small, tiny part of that monster was still inside of him and it was activated or gained life when that monster touched him in the hospital — when Steve wasn’t protecting him.

It was all Steve’s fault.

“Billy, can you look at me?” Steve said. “Please, look at me.”

Billy grabbed at his clothes and scratched at his skin, so Steve reached out and took his hands in his own. They felt burning and blistering and all he wanted to do was to let go because Billy was hurting him and it hurt and it hurt and it hurt—

“Steve, there’s nothing wrong with me,” said Billy.

“No, there definitely fucking is—”

“I am going to fucking hurt you!” shouted Billy, digit his fingernails into Steve’s forearm. “It’s still here, I’m still a monster.”

Steve tried to ignore the pain coming from his arms. Billy’s blunt fingernails were going deeper and deeper inside of him. He needed them out, he needed him to leg go of him, an the needed him to do it now.

Steve held on the Billy’s arms and didn’t let go.

“You are not a monster. That thing is still hurting you — is still inside of you. But you have to fight it. Please.”

Billy inhaled deeply and scrunched up his eyebrows, his eyes watery and red, “It needs the cold and it nearly left int he sauna — what if we just—”

“Kept you warm,” said Steve. “We could try and keep this monster at bay for as long as we could. We could keep it a secret.”

“No one would have to know,” said Billy.

“No one would have to know,” repeated Steve.

They both let go of each others arms, Steve hightailing up the stairs to find something warm. He ran into his bedroom and threw all of his clothes out of his closet. Coats, long sleeved shirts, sweaters — everything. He ran down the stairs with a yellow sweater and a black parka, he hoped that it was enough to keep the monster at bay.

“Put these on,” said Steve.

“Thanks, princess,” said Billy, pulling on the clothing.

Steve grabbed the bat from the edge of the table and headed for the door, “We need to go to Hop’s.”

Steve opened the door to his house, exiting with Billy in tow, and placed himself in the drivers seat of his car. Robin and Dustin looked concerned — the only people that knew about what happened to Billy were him ad Robin. He just needed her not to tell anyone. 

He flipped the bat over and offered the handle to Robin. Steve knew that if he was just tortured by Russians and then told that monsters he would want a weapon on him.

Steve knew that they were going to have to tell the party sometime. But he didn’t know what to do — the sauna didn’t get rid of the monster, there was no way that a couple of sweaters could! He needed to tell the others — but then Billy said not to—

Steve was utterly and wholly fucked.

“Let’s go, losers. A cabin in the woods sounds like a great idea.” said Robin.

Steve turned the ignition and put his foot on the gas — the rest of the party was waiting for them. He couldn’t keep holding them up like this. They needed all the help they could get and he sure as hell was going to help them. Even if they couldn’t find Hopper or Joyce, or any adult — he would help them. He had to.

The drive was anything but silent. Dustin had pulled out his radio, contacting the others. He left it on the whole time, the rest of the group letting them listen in to their conversations. They were trying to find all the flayed — Heather and her family. But Mike was worried, as usual, and Max was arguing with him.

When Max started shouting at Mike, Billy muttered something underneath his breath that sounded like ‘that’s my girl’. Steve was happy for them. He liked seeing Billy happy.

Robin was uncharacteristically silent. Steve knew that she was spooked by what she saw in the kitchen — Billy have veins cover his body, pulsating. He needed to talk to her about it — to make sure that she understood everything about the monsters and the Upside Down. 

He had so much that he needed to do — so many things that rested on his shoulders. But he couldn’t rest, no, he wouldn’t let himself rest. Not while there was a monster inside of Billy, not while the kids were terrified.

“What’s got you thinking so hard, princess?” asked Billy.

“The past few days, the future, the kids — everything.” sighed Steve, slowing down the car.

“Well,” Billy said, undoing his seatbelt, “Let me make a vow to you.”

Steve hopped out of the car, Robin and Dustin doing the same. Dustin ran towards the door of the cabin, leaves crunching underneath his shoes as he leapt.

“I’m going to let you guys have a moment,” spoke Robin. 

She walked around the Billy, patting him on the shoulder through his many layers of clothing. Steve had no idea what she was talking about, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know.

“I am going to keep you safe.” said Billy, as Robin walked into the cabin.

“You’re the one that had a monster inside of—”

“And that’s just he problem! You care so much about other people that you don’t even worry about yourself anymore. Did you properly check on your leg? I know that you shouldn’t be walking on that right now!”

Steve looked down at his bandaged knee. The strips of cloth that he used to make sure his knee was secure were dirty and tearing gat the seams. Billy did have a point. Sometimes he didn’t take care of himself, maybe all he wanted was for someone to do that for him.

“Ok fine—”

A high pitched scream pierced the cool air around them, breaking the calm. Steve didn’t know what to do, what to think. WHO screamed? Was it one of the kids? Was it Robin or Nancy? 

What the hell was going on?


	9. IX

Steve let go of his arms and ran to the cabin. It felt like he was moving in slow motion — as if he was trying to run in water. His knee burned underneath his skin but he needed to know the the kids were okay — that everyone was okay. 

He reached for the doorhandles and flung open the door, eliciting screams of terror from everyone around the room. 

“Is everyone okay?” he asked, his heart thrumming.

“What the fuck, Steve! You scared us!” shouts Dustin.

Steve does a quick survey of the room, Billy soon appearing through the door. Everyone is fine. No one is hurt. Everything is okay. Steve lets out a breath of relief, his whole body relaxing. He moves to where Jonathan, Nancy and Robin sit huddled around a kitchen counter. They’re all bouncing with nervous energy.

“We need to barricade the windows and the doors — everything!” shouts Mike.

Steve whips his head around so fast that he’s sure he’s given himself whiplash because — what the fuck? Why the fuck did they need to barricade the doors and windows? Steve turns his head and gives Billy a questioning look, but only receiving a small shrug in return.

“What’s — what the hell? Why are we barricading everything?” asks Steve as the party moves around him.

“We were trying to find out where Heather was and then El—” starts Nancy, loading a shotgun.

“They found me. They know where we are,” says El as she wipes away the blood on her face.

Steve stands up and walks to the couch that the kids are sitting on. And with a slight nudge of the head they realise what he wants to do. They all get off the couch — Lucas and Dustin grabbing an axe off the wall, Mike comforting El and Max and Will helping Nance — as Billy lifts the other end of it.

They raise the couch to chest level and dump it vertically in front of the door. Steve didn’t know how effective a couch was going to be in the event of a huge fucking monster breaking in — but he had to be hoped that this would work.

Steve looks around the cabin, seeing everyone working frantically, Nance shoving shotgun shells into her pockets, Robin tightening her grip on the bat. He’s glad that he gave the bat to Robin. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if she got hurt because of him. Again.

“Steve,” asks Nance, as she lays the shotgun on the table, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” Steve asks as he follows Nancy to a seperate room.

“Something’s wrong with Billy.”

He feels like he’s just been slapped din the face with how abrupt she was. Steve feels the hair on his neck stand on edge. How did she know? Billy wasn’t acting any different at all — the only notable difference would be the jumpers but that didn’t mean anything!

“I have no idea what you’re taking about,” Steve lies.

“Steve, tell me the truth. Is Billy okay?”

“Nance, there’s nothing wrong with Billy.”

“Don’t you lie to me, Steve Harrington! I saw the veins on his hands. What is wrong with him?”

Steve paces around the small room, scratching at his skin. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He should tell Nancy — she deserves to now — but Billy didn’t want to tell anyone. Steve breathes in deeply and looks Nancy in her eyes.

“It’s still inside of him.”

Nancy pulls at her hair and gives a disbelieving look to Steve, “So, you’ve been lying to me for all this time—”

“No!” Steve shouts, a little too loud, “I would never do that to you! After we saved Robin from the Russians we came back and something just fucking happened and I don’t know what to do, okay?”

“He can’t be near us.”

“Nance—”

“No, Steve. Don’t ‘Nance’ me! El was doing fine finding where Heather was until you brought Billy here! For all we know, Billy is the reason for the Mind Flayer knowing where we are!”

“You don’t know that he’s the reason—“

“And you don’t know the he’s not!” shouts Nancy. “We are not safe as long as he’s here.” 

Steve scratches at his jacket sleeve and gnaws at his lip. He doesn’t know what to fucking do because Nancy is right! If the monster can sense Billy because of the thing inside of him, then they’re all fucked! And it would be all Steve’s fault.

But he can’t just kick him to the curb. The monster would just kill Billy and then he would have more blood on his hands. But he can’t keep him with the kids. He can’t do anything. He can’t do anything at all.

“What do I do, Nancy?” Steve asks, his eyes dim. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“You leave him. Once we’re sure it’s safe you send him back home. You get him as far away from the kids as you can, even if it means leaving him by himself.”

“You know I can’t do that, Nance.” Steve sighs.

“Yes you can! He’s only hurt you for as long as you’ve known him!”

Steve pulls at his hair, trying to hide the pale white scar that’s just visible below his hairline, “No, you don’t understand — I can’t do that! I think I—”

Steve swallows his words and looks at Nancy. Her eyes are wide and her eyebrows and furrowed. She’s worried. Steve did this to her. Steve knows that his eyes are wet. And he hopes to all of the bullshit universe that he isn’t crying. He just wants everyone to be safe — he just wants Nancy to drop it.

“Steve,” Nancy says, pulling him into a hug. “No — Billy? Are you sure? I mean Billy’s a—”

“Guy. I know.” Steve sighs, hiding his face in her shoulder.

“No! You know I don’t care about that. I was going to say that Billy has hurt you before. He’s an asshole.”

Steve laughs his watery laugh and speaks, “Yeah, I know. But I’ve hurt him, too. And we forgave each other.”

Steve pulls out of Nancy’s arms and hugs himself. He never thought that Nancy would be one of the people he admitted it to. Liking Billy, that is. When Robin broke down and told the truth about herself — that she was a lesbian — he had told her his truth.

That he was bisexual and that he might have feelings for one Billy Hargrove.

Robin vaguely knew who he was — by name, not face. That he came to Hawkins the year before. That he was a total dickhead. 

“Okay,” Nancy says. “We’ll find another way.” 

\- - - 

“Do you know where Steve went?” asks Billy.

He swears that he had his eye on him. One moment he’s there and the next he’s dissipated into thin air. Billy wants to make sure that Steve’s safe — he seemed really worried and the added information of the monster coming for them wouldn’t help.

“He’s talking to Nancy,” says Will. 

Billy fucking hated Nancy. He didn’t know when he started despising her — he doesn’t know if it was before or after he met Steve. She was so stuck up and prissy and acted like she had Steve’s best interests in mind but wouldn’t even give him the light of day last year.

Fucking hypocrite.

“Which room did they go in?” Billy asks Will.

Will straightens from where he was leaning on the wall, going towards the hallway, “I’ll show you.”

Billy follows the strange boy to the hallway. He doesn’t know why Will would show him where the two are, but he’ll take it. They walk past one shut door and enter a completely open one.

“Steve and Nancy aren’t—”

“I know what it feels like,” starts Will, shutting the door. “To have a monster inside of you.”

“What is this?” sniffs Billy, as he leans against the wall, “An intervention?”

Will smiles slightly and rubs his arms, “Not really, kind of, yeah pretty much.” 

He moves to sit down on one of the only pieces of furniture that isn’t overturned. Billy has no idea why one of the kids — especially a kid as anxious as Will — would even want to be in the same room as Billy, let alone speak to him.

“It’s shit,” Will says, and Billy does a double take — did the kid just swear? Maybe Harrington wasn’t as good of a mum as he thought, “It really is. People keep telling you that you did things that you don’t remember. It feels like you’re in the backseat watching someone else drive you off a cliff.”

Billy looks down at his hands and notices the veins on them. He feels sweat pooling underneath Steve’s sweater and he just knows that it’s going to be fucking ruined by the time everything is over. He doesn’t think that he’ll return it, even if it isn’t destroyed. It smells vaguely like Steve — it’s comforting.

“You noticed, then?” asked Billy, motioning to his hands.

“Yeah, it’s kind of hard to miss,” says Will. “You should tell the rest of the group.”

“No fucking way. They’re going to blame everything on me, I just know it. And then I’ll be left to deal with my shit alone.”

“Steve wouldn’t let that happen. You can trust Steve,” Will says, his hands shaking. “I’m not good with speaking to people, so this is really hard for me, but please, if you don’t take my advice, at least trust Steve.”

Billy swallows down his pride and stares at the kid in front of him, “Okay. I’ll tell them.”

Will opens the door behind him and walks out and down the hallway. Billy doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to tell the group that he’s still infected. ‘Yeah guys, your foiled attempt at trying to save me failed. And now I’m probably going to die.’ Yeah, right.

Billy walks to where Steve is and leans against the wall in the main room and bites at his nails. He’s really fucking nervous.

“Nancy knows about you—” “I want to tell everyone about me—”

“You want everyone to know about—” “Nancy knows about my—”

Billy and Steve stop and laugh at their anxious stupidity before Billy lets Steve speak first, “Nancy saw the veins on your hands when we were moving things. But we are going to find another way to help you.”

“Will found out too,” Billy says, and knocks elbows with Steve at his wide deer-in-the-headlight look. “He convinced me to tell everyone.”

“Wait, our Will? Our timid Will Byers convinced you, hardy Billy Hargrove, to tell everyone?” Billy nods his head in affirmation silently laughing at Steve’s disbelief. “Maybe there is hope left in the world!”

“Yeah but I have no idea how to—”

“He’s here!” shouts Will.

Billy feels his heart beating as the monster breaks through the roof of the cabin. They locked themselves in. The monster stood in all of it’s glory, roaring its gut laced mouth at the party. They monster was never going to go through the windows and doors. It was going through the fucking roof!

Billy knocked Steve to the floor just as the monster made a wild dash to stab him with it’s tentacles. Billy can’t discern the ringing in the ears from the shots coming from Nancy’s shotgun or the kids’ screams. They locked themselves in with no way out.

Billy jumps to his feet, running to the door, barreling into the couch that he and Steve put there. He hears El scream as she stops a tentacle from hitting Mike in the stomach. Billy stops and breathes as he looks at it. It’s like a larger version of the thing fro his nightmare — a fleshy slug with teeth that burrowed into his fuckin flesh.

He swallows down the bile coming treating to come out of his throat as El stops another tentacle from hitting herself. The monster stares at her and roars, but she roars right fucking back. She lets out a scream as a tentacle attaches itself to her leg and Billy doesn’t know what to do because he’s too far away to help her.

He shoves his shoulder into the couch again, and it topples over, crushing other parts of the barricades holding the windows down. He looks back at the girl as she screams in pain and he knows — Billy knows what it feels like.

“Get away from her, motherfucker!” Robin shouts as she slams Steve’s bat into the tentacle that feeds on El’s flesh.

The boy — Lucas — snaps out of his stupor and wields his axe over his head diving it into flesh of the tentacle. He and Robin yank out there weapons, the tentacle nearly off El. Lucas wields his axe one more time and El is free of the tentacle.

El screams and raises her clenched fists, splitting the monsters head in two as she topples to the ground, unconscious.


	10. X

Steve watched helplessly as the body of the teenage girl fell onto the floor. He couldn’t do anything but stare and stare and stare as the smell of blood and flesh filled up his senses because — oh god, oh no — was she okay? How badly hurt was she? Why couldn’t Steve be useful for one fucking second?!

He stood by the wall, frozen and freaking out, his breathing speeding up before he felt something on his shoulder. Steve pushed himself back, knocking into the wall, his eyes darting everywhere. Why couldn’t he breathe? Why did it feel like his chest was caving in on itself?

“Steve, princess, look at me,” said a voice. “Just focus on me, okay? You’re doing good, really good. You’re in Hopper’s cabin, the rest of the group are outside, in the car. Breathe with me.”

Steve forced himself to focus on Billy — his words, his face, everything. He breathed in time with him, his chest stuttering and his throat dry. What the hell just happened? His hands are shaking and he feels so wrong — what was that?

“First panic attack?” said Billy.

“First what?” asked Steve.

“Panic attack,” said Billy as he leads them out of the destroyed cabin, “You know, fastness of breath, tunnel vision, uncontrollable freaking out?”

Steve rubbed at his arms as he sat in the passenger seat of his car, “Yeah, something like that.”

Steve knows what a panic attack is. They covered all of that shit in their health classes at school, but he had no reason to panic. He’d been through worse — the kids have been through worse — and never had to deal with a panic attack. He’s fucking worthless. El was the one hurt, not him.

“Where are we going?” asked Steve, his legs crossed.

“To the supermarket — it’s close by and we need to patch the kid up,” said Billy as he reversed out.

“How bad do you think it is?” asked Robin from the backseat, startling Steve.

“Holy crap, when did you two get there?” he asked as he turned around and spotted Dustin.

“The others offered us a drive, but we wanted to make sure you were okay,” spoke Robin as she pulled on a jacket. “Also, I’m stealing your jacket. I found it in the boot of your car and it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off an elephant.”

“Fair enough,” Steve shrugged.

He turned back in his seat, watching as they broke away from the woods and onto the main road. Once they got a hold of Hopper he would have to ask him why he lived in such a secluded spot. Maybe he could get some advice as to where to live. He didn’t want to stay in his parents empty house alone. It was large and unfeeling.

He couldn’t even look at the pool without feeling sick.

Steve ran his fingers through his hair, playing with the ends. He didn’t need to think about that right now. What he needed to focus on was the fact that El was sitting unconscious in Nancy’s car and that she was bitten by the Mind Flayer. Nothing else mattered.

Billy drove across two parking spots, turning off the car and getting out of it. Steve followed suit, scrambling with the car door handle. He needed to know if El was okay. She had to be. 

Steve lifted his long legs out of the car — he felt like a giant, gangly and clumsy, ruining things. He did a slow jog to the front door of the shop, going under Billy’s arm as he opened the door. He gave him a quick nod and walked in, searching for El. Steve walked down two isles and found her sitting there, her eyes wide as she listened to the others fretting about her.

“Oh, thank god, you’re okay,” Steve said as he dropped to the floor. “I was really worried for you back there.”

Steve crossed his legs and fiddled with his fingers before El started to speak, “It hurts.”

“I know, I know. But we’re gonna have to clean it so then it gets better, yeah?” he said looking at the others. “You guys know what to get, right?”

The original party looked at each other, clueless, as Max shook her head in disbelief. Nancy grabbed supplies off the shelf behind her and started unwrapping a bandage while Mike held El’s other hand. Steve watched as Billy slapped the bandage out of Nancy’s hand, giving her a pointed look.

“You remember how to do this, Maxine?” asked Billy.

Billy crouched down next to Steve, his hand resting on his shoulder. He leaned into the touch subconsciously as Max started to give orders to the boys. He reached out his hand to give a squeeze to El’s, doing everything in his power to make sure that she was okay.

That she felt safe.

\- - -

“You remember how to do this, Maxine?” asked Billy.

She scoffed and looked at the boys, “Of course. First, you have to stop the bleeding, then you clean the wound, then disinfect, then bandage.”

The boys looked at her in surprise — and Billy almost laughed. How they got through their lives without fixing their own wounds was beyond him (especially with what they got up to in their spare time). He remembers teaching Max how to treat her wounds after she fell off her skateboard. Yeah, Neil had told him to do it, but it was one of the only good memories that he had with her.

Even if he got beat right after.

“Billy taught me,” she said as she grabbed the bandage from Nancy’s limp hands, “I’m gonna need water, soap.” She handed the bandage to Mike, pressing this hands against it, “Keep putting pressure on it.”

Billy watched in amazement and pride as his younger sibling handled everyone. She was able to get them to do things for her without hurting them. He’d have to ask her how she does it. Or maybe he could ask Steve. Or both.

“Thank you,” said Steve as let go of the girl’s hand. 

Billy walked behind a different aisle with Steve next to him, “For what?”

“You know. Back at the cabin? I had a — I freaked out.”

“It’s really no problem,” Billy said, resting this weight on one foot. “It happens sometimes — it feels like shit, but it’s better if someone helps you.”

Steve nodded, hanging his head, “El getting attacked by that monster — I felt so helpless, you know? I wasn’t able to do anything.”

“No,” Billy said. “Nope, you do not get to think like that,” he rested his hands on Steve’s shoulders, “You are literally the most selfless person that I know — you do not get to beat yourself up over something like this, okay? Sometimes things are out of your hands and you can’t do anything, but that is okay. No one is blaming you apart from yourself.”

“I just — but I—” Steve stammered.

“No ‘but’s. No ‘if’s. None of this is your fault.”

“None of this is my fault,” Steve repeated, his eyebrows furrowed.

Billy let go of his shoulders, already missing the direct contact, “There. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“I guess not,” Steve smiled, crossing his arms. 

They quieted down and stood there, not even a ruler apart, staring at each other. Billy could probably stay like this forever — staring into Steve Harrington’s eyes. Even in the midst of chaos and monsters, they had found peace with each other. That is, until Billy heard one of Harrington’s kids shout.

“You found a Russian base without us?” shouted Lucas.

“You guys were ignoring me!” shouted Dustin. “And besides, you took Steve away from us.”

“We did not ‘take Steve’, we asked him to come help us,” said Lucas.

“Should you go deal with that?” smiled Billy.

Steve scratched the back of his head, a mischievous glint in his eye that Billy did not like one bit, “You’re coming with me.”

“Oh, no,” Billy laughed. “I am going to help Maxine. You are going to deal with that shit-show.”

They chucked at their predicament, Steve being the first to leave. Billy wished that they could have something like that again. Where it felt like there was no one in the world but each other. No monsters, no blood, no fear. Just each other, forever and always.

Billy just hoped that Steve wanted it, too.

“Maxine!” Billy called, “Need any help with anything?”

Billy crouched down to the floor next to El and Max. It didn’t look like El was doing good, and if his nightmare was anything to go by, she was in so much pain right now. Billy shook that thought out of his head, focussing on the girls.

“I should be fine,” she said. “But I need to talk to you later.”

He didn’t know what to think about that. Billy hadn’t done anything bad recently, hell, he’d actually helped out more than anything! But if Max wanted to talk to him about something then he must’ve done something wrong. He must have.

Max gave him that look of hers — the one that says ‘get out of here’ — so Billy picked himself up off the floor and went to where he thought Steve was. He needed to tell the group about him. About the monster inside of him. It’s getting too much to handle, even for him. It feels like its burning under his skin, tearing him from inside out.

He needed to let Steve know.

“Steve,” he called. “I think it’s getting worse.”

“What’s getting worse?” asked Lucas.

Will looked at him with wide eyes, a sorry look on his face, “Hey, Lucas, why don’t we take this bowl to Max?”

“What? But Billy said that—”

“Why don’t you take Dustin with you as well,” spoke Steve. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

Billy watched as the kids left, Will giving him a quick nod of the head. He didn’t know how to explain the pain to Steve — he never liked English classes, only maths and science. All he knew was that he was sweating so much — it felt like someone had painted his skin with lip-gloss.

“How’re you holding up?” Steve asked, worry on his face.

Billy took his hands out of their pockets and showed it to Steve, “I don’t think keeping me heated is doing anything. I think it’s making it worse.”

“No, no that can’t — it worked for Will and it worked for you in the sauna—” Steve walked towards Billy, taking his hands in his own. “Do you want to tell the others now?”

“Yes,” Billy exhaled. “They need to know. If anything goes wrong because of me — if something happens to you or Max because of me—”

“Nothing is going to happen. You are going to be okay. We’re going to find the Gate and we’re going to close it and everything will be okay.” 

Steve gave a squeeze to Billy’s hands. It felt nice to hod Steve’s hands — they were cold and bony, while his were rough and hot. It was nice. Comforting. They let go of each others hands and walked to where the others had settled.

They strode, united, to the rest of the group. El was sitting down in the same spot they had left her, Mike and Max flanking her sides. Nancy, Jonathan and Robin stood speaking in hushed whispers, always thinking. And that just left Lucas, Will and Dustin. They stood together, talking about fireworks.

Billy rounded up on them, coming down the aisle with Steve in tow. He had to do this. It was either now or never — Billy feared that he might not get another chance to tell them. He feared that by the end of the week he would be dead.

“Billy, I needed to talk to you—” started Max.

“It’s still in me,” he heard himself speak. “Your plan didn’t work. That monster is still inside of me.”

He glanced up from where his eyes were glued to his hands, watching, waiting for them to kick him out. To tell them that he was unstable, unsafe to be around them. Billy held his breath and looked at Steve.

“What?” asked Dustin. 

And then the floodgates were open and they were all shouting and screaming at him. ‘Why didn’t you tell us before?’, ‘Who knew?’, ‘I knew we couldn’t trust you!’, ‘You’re my brother, why didn’t you tell me?’, ‘Get the fuck out!’. Billy couldn’t take it, couldn’t listen, couldn’t stand to hear them shout at him like that.

“Shut the fuck up!” he shouted. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew that you wouldn’t even hear me out before you started to accuse me of shit. Shut the fuck up and let me explain.”

He breathed in deep and started talking, “It worked for a while, your plan. But we think that you let me out too early. That there was — is — still a bit of the monster inside of me.”

“What are we supposed to do about that?” asked Mike. “If the sauna didn’t work—”

“We continue with our plan,” spoke Nancy. “We find the gate, we close it, we kill the monster. Maybe it’ll heal Billy as well.”

He didn’t know what to think about that — Nancy Wheeler coming to his rescue. Out of everyone here, he would have thought that she would’ve jumped at even the thought of leaving him behind. Maybe he was wrong about her.

“About the gate,” said Robin. “I think it’s in the mall.” At everyone’s confused looks, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a map, “When Dustin and I went to find the Russian base we found something else — it was this energy gun thing. They were breaking apart the wall.”

Steve softly tapped on Billy’s hand, holding it behind his back, “It’s worth a shot.”


	11. XI

“We can’t take all of us in one car — we don’t have enough space,” Nancy said.

Steve couldn’t believe anything right now. Everything that they had done, everything that they had gone through in the past few weeks were all intertwined. Billy getting infected, the Russian base underneath the mall, the fertiliser that Nancy and Jonathan had found. Everything.

“We can split into two groups, we still have my car,” said Steve. “We’ll go first, see if we can find all our planning.”

He let go of Billy’s hand, putting his in his pockets. This wasn’t the time to go and think about something like that — a future where he can just hold Billy’s hand openly. He needed to get the group to the mall and then they can close the gate. Then he could think about that.

Steve opened the door of the supermarket, using his foot to prop it open as Robin, Dustin and Billy walked past him. It was selfish of him to think about himself when all of his friends were in danger.

He sat himself down in the passenger seat of his car. He’d have to convince Billy to give him back his keys. Yeah, his knee was still fucked and he definitely should not have walked, let alone ran, on it, but he could still drive!

“Let’s go, pretty boy,” said Billy as he drove towards the mall.

Steve didn’t think they had a plan. Or, if they did have a plan, he didn’t think it was solid. Yeah, the gate might be in the Russian base, but how were they supposed to get there and out safely? The last time Robin was in there she got captured for fucks sake! And don’t even get him started on the idea of destroying the ‘energy gun’.

And then, after all of that. What was he supposed to do then? Would he have to sign, yet another, government paper? Would the kids? Would Billy? What would happen to those people from the hospital — Ms Driscoll? 

Not for the first time in his life he felt completely and utterly useless.

“Stop thinking so loud, Steve,” said Robin. “I bet Nancy could hear your thoughts from here.”

“Oh c’mon, man,” Steve said. “It’s not like I spaced out or anything.”

“Dude, we’re literally at the mall already,” said Dustin.

“…Oh.”

Steve got out of the car, taking up the bat that Robin had offered him. He followed the rest of the group as they marched towards the mall. The bat felt cold and heavy in his hands. He had a real bad feeling about this. 

“To Scoops A’hoy?” asked Billy.

“To Scoops A’hoy.” said Steve.

They walked through the doors, dead set on their target. They needed to find those pla— what the fuck? Steve ran straight into Billy’s back, Robin running into his and Dustin running into hers. It was like something out of a sitcom.

“What the fuck, man?” asked Steve.

He walked out from behind Billy and was met by men, Russians, walking around the place. Their black clad figures were easy to spot against the neon pinks and blues of the mall. If Steve could see them they could definitely see him.

He yanked on Billy’s arm, pulling him down. What the fuck were they all doing standing out in the open?

“Get down,” Steve hissed at Robin and Dustin. “Change of plans — we’ll have to sneak back to the parlour.”

“No shit,” said Robin.

Steve rushed closer to the shop, everyone trailing behind him. He ducked behind some plants and benches and hoped that it was enough. He heard them moving, speaking. They weren’t going to get to Scoops A’hoy like this.

Steve popped his head above the plants that provided them shelter, “What if we caused a distraction?”

“Steve, I swear to god, if you’re about to suggest what I think you are— ” whisper-shouted Robin.

“It’s the only way! They are definitely going to notice four people running out in the open!” 

“Mind queuing me in?” asked Billy.

“Genius over here is going to run out into the open and probably get shot at—”

“I’m not going to get shot at, okay? I’ll be fine.”

“Steve, what the hell?” whispered Dustin. “We’re not letting you do that!”

“We need those plans,” said Steve.

And yeah, maybe it was a really fucking dumb idea. But it was the only one that he could think of. They could throw something to move away their attention, but who’s to say that they wouldn’t see where the object came from?

If he ran out there they would chase after him. The rest of the group would be able to get to the plans. And then they could close the gate and then he could go to sleep. He was so tired.

“Steve,” Billy hissed, “Don’t you da—”

Steve handed the bat to him, a small smile on his face, “Sorry.” 

He jumped over the plants, and ran with like his life depended on it. Because, well, it did. Steve jumped over the benches, running through the group of armed men that surrounded him. He was dead. He was so fucking dead.

“Come get me, you Russian fucks!” he shouted as he jumped over a bench.

One of the men shot at him making him trip, nearly falling flat on his face. He laughed in the face of danger — some shot those guys were! He jumped over a counter, sliding underneath it as shots rung out above him. That had to have been enough time for the others to get the plans.

He could feel his heart thrumming underneath his skin. It felt like he was on fire! Steve heard the Russian muttering amongst themselves and knew what would come next. Maybe he wouldn’t see the light of day, but at least he helped someone.

He wretched his eyes closed and waited for it to come. There was no use fighting it. Steve counted the seconds in his head, waiting for that final hit to come.

Instead, he felt the counter shift and the distant scream of a girl. El.

“Steve!” Billy shouted.

\- - -

Billy ran to where El had just flipped a car — and, nope, he would not think about how strong that girl was, how much destruction she could cause — because all he could think about was Steve, Steve, Steve.

He jumped the counter and calmed his beating heart because he was okay. Steve didn’t even have a scratch on him. He was fine.  
“Fucking Christ, Harrington,“ Billy huffed, rubbing at his eyes, “Don’t even think about doing something like that again.”

“Yeah,” Steve laughed. “I don’t plan on it.”

Billy gave him a half-hearted laugh and offered his hand. There was no way that he was letting Steve out of his sight. Not now, not ever. Billy pulled him up, letting Steve lean on him. His knee seemed more fucked than it used to be.

As much as he hated to admit, Steve’s plan had worked. He caused a big enough distraction that the Russians were only worried about him, not Billy or Robin or Dustin. They were able to get the plans but, they were so dumb!

They should have just walked straight back out those doors and waited for the others.

“Okay,” Robin spoke, “Here’s the plan.”

Billy sat down on ground next to El and Max, Steve following soon after. If Robin was going to explain what they had to do, then she would have to talk about everything they found in the base. Before and after she was rescued.

“We found a Russian base underneath the mall, you know that much. We’ve found two ways to get in — the vents or the elevator behind this place. When we were down there we found the gate. They were trying to break it apart.”

“And that’s why this is all happening,” said Nancy. “Because they opened the gate.”

“It has to be,” agreed Mike.

Robin crouched to the floor, spreading out what looked like blueprints, “We have everything we need to get into the base through the vents, all we need to know is how to  
dest—”

El double over, screaming and shouting. Nancy rushed over and dropped to her knees, unwrapping the bandages before covering her mouth. Her hands shook slightly as she bundled up the dirty rags, pushing them to the side.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Jonathan paced. 

Billy moved closer and saw it all — it was happening again. Her skin was moving and pulsating like something was alive and hungry underneath it. It was exactly like his nightmare. He could hear Jonathan rummaging around the stores behind them.

“El, hey, look at me, okay? Hold my hand,” said Steve.

Billy ran to Jonathan, trying not to focus on what was happening to that poor little girl.

“You know, it’s not actually that bad. There was a — the goalie on my soccer team, Beth Wildfire, this other girl slid into her leg and the bone came out of her knee, six inches or something.” Robin blabbed as she stared at El’s leg.

“Robin,” Steve said. “Not helping.”

Billy took a sharp knife from the rack, turning not he stove and heating it. They’d need to cut her open. In his nightmare he had ripped his skin apart, did everything to get that thing out of him. He held the knife as still as he could, trying not to look at his hands.

He slipped on plastic gloves and ran back, careful of the knife.

“Bite down on this,” said Jonathan, handing El a wooden spoon. 

She grabbed it with her right hand and bit down, hard. Billy hoped that what they had was enough. It had to be. They needed to get that thing out of her.

Billy wasted no time, trailing the knife along her skin, trying to do everything as quickly as possible. He couldn’t look her int he eye, couldn’t are to hear her scream. He didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again, and look where that got him!

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered as he sliced open her flesh.

He dropped the knife to the ground next to him, terrified and glad at the same time. Now all they had to do was — he felt his hands shaking and his veins thrumming with the monster. Billy couldn’t do it. He couldn't drive his fingers into her flesh. He couldn’t do it again.

Jonathan pushed him aside, a sorry look on his face. Billy looked away — he couldn’t look at El, couldn’t look at Jonathan while they did that. He looked straight at Steve, stared at his hand on El’s. 

El screamed an whimpered and stared straight at her own leg as two things moved. The monster inside of her wriggled away from Jonathan’s fingers, making the hole between her skin and her muscle wider and wider.

“El, look at me,” Steve said. Her eyes travelled from where they were fixated on Jonathan, from where she could see Jonathan digging around in her own fucking leg, “Look at me! You’re going to be okay!”

Billy watched on as she calmed her breathing, right before Jonathan dug his fingers deeper, “No, stop! Stop!” 

Jonathan yanked his fingers out, El crying out again, her grip getting tighter and tighter on Steve’s hand. Billy felt like he was watching everything unfold around him in third person. He didn’t feel like he was there.

“I think I can do it,” she said, letting go of Steve’s hand.

She focussed her hands on her leg, her face screwing up in pain as she screamed and shouted for that thing to get the fuck out of her. And Billy knew, he fucking knew, that all of this was his fault. If he hadn’t been with the rest of the group, then the Mind Flayer wouldn’t’ve found them. Then El wouldn’t be screaming.

She screamed louder, and everyone could see that her skin was shifting before them. She yanked her hands towards herself, the fleshy slug-like creature revealing itself. She screamed once more, throwing it halfway across the room.

“Holy shit,” said Billy.

The group watched, stunned as the creature wriggled across the floor, heading to the door. That thing was just inside of El. And she had forced it out of herself. Billy watched in horrid fascination as the thing moved. 

Right before it was crushed under the boot of a man.

“Hopper?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay of this chapter! I should go back to my normal schedule soon.


	12. XII

“Oh thank God you’re here,” said Steve. “We tried to call you, but it just went straight to voicemail and—”

Hopper walked towards Steve, a soft look in his eyes. Hopper was here now, everything would be fine. He knew what to do, he always knew what to do. He had to. Steve gave a slight jump as rough hands clamped down on his shoulders.

“Glad you’re okay, kid.”

Steve smiled softly and calmed at the touch. Yeah, Steve was the ‘mum’ or the ‘babysitter’ of the group, but he was still a teenager. Hopper and Joyce were the real parents, metaphorically and literally.

They always knew what to do.

“Oh, you’re okay. You’re okay,” muttered Hopper as he picked up El and moved her to sit on the benches.

The tiles were coated with El and the monster’s blood. It seeped into the floor and bubbled and mixed until they became one. Even the sight of it made him want to throw up. No one deserved to go through bullshit like that — no one. Especially not his kids. Not El.

Steve shoved his shaky hands into his pockets and watched with careful eyes as the party, Joyce and Billy walked to where Hopper and El resided themselves. 

“What the fuck was that thing?” asked Hopper, putting El’s head in his lap.

“The Mind Flayer,” said Mike. “It created and moulded itself to find — and kill — El.”

“And it nearly did,” said Nancy.  
“That,” Mike motioned to the stain of blood and gore on the tiles, “was only a tiny bit of it. Not even a tenth.”

Steve stopped staring at the blood on the floor, tried to forget that it wa even there, and stood next to Billy, taking his hands out of his pockets. Steve bumped his elbow with Billy’s, hoping that his silent-choked screams would be heard.

“So how big is this thing?” asked Hopper.

“Oh, it’s big,” said Lucas. “About thirty feet.”

“Fu— thirty feet? And you’re sure?” 

“We didn’t get time to measure it when it destroyed your cabin,” snarked Billy. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

He reached out his hand for Steve’s, holding it tight behind their backs. And he knew, Steve knew with all of his heart and his fucked up mind, that this was wrong. That thinking about himself was selfish. 

Maybe he could let himself be selfish, just this once.

“It, um,” Steve started, “We think it’s made out of people — melted people. And Billy kind of got infected by it — but he’s fine, kind of. We were headed to the gate to destroy it and—”

“Yoo-hoo!” shouted a man. “Yoo-hoo!”

Steve turned around and saw a man waving yellow papers above his head. He squeezed Billy’s hand tighter before letting it drop to his sides. The man sped his way around the courtyard of the mall — walking around the stain of blood — and slammed his rustled papers against the table.

“So Alexei said that this was hub—” started the man.

“But where’s the gate?” asked Hop.

“Murray?” asked Nancy.

“I think I might—” started Robin.

“It should be close by — fifty feet or so.” said Murray.

“It would be great if you could be quiet for just a moment,” said Robin. “It isn’t fifty feet. It’s five-hundred. And there is no way that you’re just going to waltz on down there and destroy this thing because it is swarming with Russians!”

“And, pardon my french, but how do you know this?”

Robin just gave the man a strange look and motioned to her face, “Do I look like I’ve had a fun time dilly-dallying at a day spa? No? Didn’t think so. I’ve been down there, being tortured by Russians for God knows how long—”

“Yeah, if I may interrupt,” said Dustin as he pulled a pencil from his font pocket. “This is a storage facility — it leads straight to their base through the ventilation system. It’s an absolute mess down there, but between me and Robin—”

“We could just give them the blueprints I found,” said Robin.

Dustin waved his hands at Robin in a ‘shoo’ motion, telling her to put the blueprints away. If it was in any other situation, Steve would be cackling at the idea of Dustin trying to tell Robin what to do.

“And risk them losing themselves or the map? No thanks.”

Hopper scratched at his beard, a hard look on his face, “There is no way that we’re taking kids down there—”

“I’m not a kid!” they both said.

“No. Nope.”

Steve watched as Hopper got up and walked away. Okay, so maybe he didn’t always know what to do. But, fair enough, right? He was human, he didn’t want the kids to get hurt on his watch. Steve couldn’t exactly blame him for thinking like that.

He watched as the rest of the party dispersed. The adults convening around the bodies that lay lost amongst the rubble, the children scheming and hugging near the chairs, Robin and the happy couple talking about the monster. And Steve and Billy. 

Alone, together.

Steve sat himself down on the concrete that surrounded the plants and let his head fall into his hands. Hopper was here, yes, but what now? They still needed to do the same thing. Only this time, he had to wait on the sidelines. Watching, waiting, for everyone to come back safe.

He felt the warmth of Billy’s body envelop his in a much needed hug, “You okay there, Stevie?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

And then there was Billy. If they both made it out alive, if they both survived this fucking night together, what would come out of it? Steve wanted — he wanted more. He wanted more than just friendship and he knew he was never going to get it because he was selfish and didn’t deserve it, never deserved anything in his fucking life—

“Can I say something? And, please, let me finish. Even if it sounds crazy,” said Billy, his hands still wrapped around Steve.

“Go ahead.”

“I— we might not make it out of here alive, and the last few days have been fucking hell for all of us,” he laughed, shifting his hands, “but it’s the happiest that I’ve ever been — the happiest that I probably ever will be. And you’ve shown me patience and friendship and care that I have never felt in my entire life.”

“Billy—”

He squeezed Steve tighter, taking a deep breath in, “No, if I don’t say this now, I never will.” Billy put his hands on Steve’s shoulders and looked into his eyes, “Steve Harrington. You deserve the fucking world and if you can’t see that by now I — I don’t know what I would do.”

Steve watched as Billy’s eyes shifted across his own face. He could feel himself getting sweaty underneath his collar, a hot blush crawling up his neck. Could this really be what he thought it was?

“I fucking love you.”

\- - -

Billy wrenched his eyes shut and filled his lungs up with as much air as he could. It felt like he had just ducked his head under icy water into uncharted territory. It was cold and burning and it felt like water was filling up his lungs. He knew that his heart was heavy with hatred and love and every emotion that he ever felt, but he had said it. 

And he couldn’t take it back now.

“Wow, Billy, that’s,” Steve stammered in front of him.

“Yeah, I know. I mean, you don’t even like guys so I don’t know why I would even think you would like—”

“I love you, too.”

Billy opened is eyes.

“I,” Steve said, slowly, “love,” he started to smile, “you.”

Billy fell onto Steve laughing and giddy with love and happiness. Billy loved Steve. And Steve loved him back. How could he not have noticed? The hand holding, the pet names — everything!

They laughed as they fell back into the plants, gaining the attention of the teens. And Billy didn’t care. He didn’t care if they caught them holding hands, or kissing or fucking their brains out because he was happy. He was finally happy. Steve Harrington loved him. Him!

Billy got off Steve, nearly falling flat on his ass as he climbed out of the foliage. He lended Steve and hand, holding onto it long after Steve was back on his feet. He might not live to see another fucking day, but at least he knew that he was loved.

Max ran into him, making Billy stumble back. And he didn’t even care that she just barrelled into him like that — he was just so fucking happy. It felt like he was a love drunk monster dancing across the sky, painting the clouds with shades of lust and love.

“You told him?” Max whisper-shouted.

“Yeah,” Billy smiled (he could not stop smiling, even if he wanted to).

“Told you, you wouldn’t miss your shot!” she smiled and winked at him.

Billy squeezed Steve’s hand and smiled. Of course Maxine was right. Steve sat down on the concrete, Billy stepping in-between his legs. Their group slowly filtered in and reconvened around them. He didn’t care if Mike or Nancy or Jonathan saw them. He fucking love him. And no one could stop that.

“Max knew?” asked Steve.

Billy laughed and played with his fingers, “I never told her, but she found out. Must be a sibling thing.”

“I told Nancy,” blurted Steve. “And Robin. And I think Dustin probably knows which means the rest of the group knows—”

“I don’t care,” said Billy. “The whole school could fucking know. I could shout it at the top of my lungs for the whole world to hear and it wouldn’t matter. All that matters is you.”

Billy leaned his head against Steve’s. His skin was so cool and soothing in comparison to his. It must be the monster inside of him. The veins on his hands pulsated slowly beneath his skin and Billy knew that they would have to talk about it sometime. But not now. Never now.

“Do you think we could use that as decoration?” 

“What?” asked Billy.

“The bat!” laughed Steve. “You know how people hang up their hockey sticks and jerseys as a signifier of winning? We could hang it up in our house.”

Our house. That’s what Steve had said. Did he mean the Harrington Household? His parents weren’t around much, but surely they would question why he had a bat up on the wall when they came back.

“Wouldn’t your parents mind?”

“Oh yeah!” Steve said, his head shooting up and nearly hitting Billy, “I was thinking of getting a different place for myself, but you could come with me. Get away from — get away from Neil.”

“Where would it be?”

“Hm?”

“I’m gonna assume that your rich ass has the money to handle paying for a house or an apartment, so, where would it be? Hawkins or somewhere else?”

“I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out, right? We always do.”

“Together?” asked Billy.

“Together,” answered Steve.

They laid their heads against each other and closed their eyes. Steve and Billy were content. It was all they could ever ask for. In between dealing with family and the Upside Down — the monsters that could kill you with no remorse and the monsters that could infect your entire being — they just wanted love.

And they had found that within each other.

“Use this to direct us,” said Hopper as he handed Robin a walkie-talkie, stolen from one of the bodies.

Oh, right. The plan. The gate.

“Yeah, well the signal’s not going to reach you all the way under there unless you had some high powered radio tower already set up preferably in the highest point in Hawkins but it’s not like, oh,” paused Dustin as he snapped his fingers, “that’s right. I do have one of those.”

Hopper stared at him and blinked his eyes, “What do you need?”

“A car.”

“I guess that’s where we come in,” said Steve.


	13. XIII

“Oh, baby, now we’re talking!” said Steve as he threw the car keys up in the air.

“Does that say ‘Toddfather’?” asked Robin.

“Forget Todd, Steve’s her daddy now!”

Steve turned around to face the rest of the group. He would have thought that things were going to be weird after he and Billy practically spilled their guts out to each other. It felt exactly the same as it did before. And he wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Did you just speak of yourself in the third person?” asked Dustin.

“Did you just call yourself ‘daddy’?” quirked Billy.

He could feel his cheeks burning up with that remark and, yeah, he had that one coming. Steve laughed and jumped over the car door, sitting down in the drivers seat. There was absolutely no way that he was going to pass by an opportunity to drive a car like this! 

Billy opened the car door and sat down in shotgun, Dustin and Robin piling into the back of the car. Steve had no idea where or how Hopper got this car, but he wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Remind me why we couldn’t take your car?” asked Robin as Steve started up the car.

Steve put the pedal to the metal, Billy whopping as he sped away from the mall, “Hop said something about this being faster!”

Steve raced out of the parking lot, going as fast as he could. They needed to get to Weathertop as quickly as they possibly could. The sooner Hopper, Joyce and Murray destroy the gate, the better. 

Then he would finally be able to—

“Left! Turn left now!”

“But there’s not a road here—”

“Turn left!”

Twisting the steering wheel, Steve made a sharp turn left, flattening a wooden gate towards the hill looming above them. Honestly, he had no idea where the fuck he was going. Weathertop? Where the hell was that supposed to be?

He followed, what he thought was, a beaten dirt and grass path until he reached the base of a hill. Steve looked back to Dustin, getting the nod of confirmation — yep, this was Weathertop. They were supposed to get all the way up there.

Steve eased his foot down onto the pedal, kicking up dirt and weeds on his way up the hill. They had to make it up there. They had to.

“We’re not gonna make it!” shouted Billy.

“Oh yes we are!” said Steve. “Come on, baby, come on!”

He slammed his foot down, the wheels of the car digging themselves their graves in the soil and the thickets. Steve lifted his foot, leaning his head back. Dammit, they were going to have to walk all the way up there, weren’t they?

Steve slammed his door shut, his hands on his hips. Yep, there was no way they were going to get this thing out of the ground any time soon.

“Guess we’ll have to walk,” said Billy.

Steve turned and gave him a smile, “Any chance you could carry me?”

“Nope.”

“Come on, I’m crippled!” he said as he pointed to his knee.

“Maybe next time, princess.”

They started trekking up the hill, one foot in front of the other. Steve tried not to think about how everyone was waiting for them. How their whole plan counted on their group being able to get to the tower and give Murray the right directions.

“Bald Eagle, do you copy?” asked Dustin.

“Yes, I copy,” came Murray’s static-y voice.

Steve jumped for joy, racing up the hill faster until he could see Robin and Dustin sitting on the grass next to the radio tower. He sat his ass down next to them, admiring the view of the lit up town underneath his fingertips.

Billy stood behind him, so Steve leaned back a bit, leaning his weight primarily on his legs. It felt nice to be able to do things like that — to show affection, and not just the maternal kind.

“This is Scoops Troop—”

“And me,” said Billy.

“—going radio silent. 10-10, over.”

Steve fell flat on his back, staring straight up at Billy and his stupid smile. He just stepped back and let Steve fall. The little bastard. Steve pushed himself up onto his knees, kneeling in front of Billy and pulled him hard onto th grass.

“Keep it PG, guys, we have a kid here” said Robin as she pulled the blueprints from her uniform pocket.

The boys laughed, Billy getting up from the grass and pulling at the jacket until it was covering all of his skin. Steve hated that he was still like that — still in pain. He just wanted both of them to be happy.

Robin and Dustin muttered behind them, giving Murray directions. They didn’t need Steve or Billy’s help here, really. Robin had the blueprints, Dustin knew how to work the radio. It was really just a matter of Steve being able to drive and Billy tagging along.

“About what you said before,” started Steve. 

“Yeah?”

“About where I would want to live? I guess my first choice would be Hawkins. As much as it sucks ass around here, I couldn’t leave the kids. But if I could live anywhere in the world I would—”

“Do you see that?” asked Billy.

Steve sat up, looking in Billy’s line of sight. Right at the mall. The lights that seemed so welcoming and warm flickered and stuttered right before their eyes. And the kids were there — oh fuck, he had left the kids there!

“Robin, Dustin!” he shouted. “I think the others might be in trouble!”

He heard frantic shuffling behind him, Dustin shouting into the radio, “This is Scoops Troop, Griswold Family, do you copy? I repeat, do you copy?”

Steve tapped his fingers against his leg, pacing behind where Dustin and Robin sat. This wasn’t going to work! If they were in trouble, there was no way that they’d be able to contact them without endangering themselves!

He took one last look at the group before dashing down the hill.

“Steve?! Where the hell are you going?” shout Dustin.

“To help the others! You stay here to contact Murray!”

“There is no way you’re going alone!” shouted Billy.

Dustin ran to Steve, grabbing onto his arm, “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I promise.”

Steve jumped down the hill, forgetting about the pain in his knee, forgetting about what he wanted to tell Billy, everything. The kids were in danger and they needed help. He needed to get the fucking car out of the ground and get there now.

Billy jumped over the passengers door and shouted, “Let’s roll!”

\- - -

Billy pulled his sleeves further down his hand, trying to cover up his veins. They were getting worse and he fucking knew it. Even if he did tell Steve about his feelings (and he returned them!) it wasn’t going to change the monster inside of him.

It was still there, waiting. But for what?

Maybe it was waiting for him to get closer to the bigger monster — the hive mind. Then it would take him with it as well. He knew that his veins burnt like the high heavens when he was near it the last time, so it would make sense that it hurt now, right?

“Steve, I thought it might be getting worse before, but I really think there’s something wrong.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Billy rolled up the sleeve of the jacket and the sweater and the long sleeved shirt, showing Steve his veins. The heat might have kept it at bay for a while, but the monster is growing. He can feel it. It calls for him, yearns for him. Wants him to be a part of it. But he doesn’t want that. He wants to stay right fucking here.

Steve turned and looked before his eyes widened and he focussed back on the road, “Are you— does it hurt?”

Billy traced his veins with his thumb. He felt like he was burning inside out. Like something had ripped open his flesh the night of his nightmares and had left a gaping hole in the middle of him that no amount of antiseptic could fix. All he wanted to do was rip off the layers that bound him and jump into water and sink.

“Not really,” he said. 

He could feel the worry coming through the silence — he didn’t have to lie. Steve wasn’t going to hurt him. He was his fr— his boyfriend.

“It hurts so fucking much. I can feel it move under my skin and I din’t know what to do. How are we supposed to fix this?”

“I don’t know,” said Steve. “But after all of this it done, we will find a way. Even if it means trapping you in a sauna until you pass out. We will find a way. I promise.”

“Okay,” Billy said. “Okay.”

Billy felt the car speed up underneath them as he watched the scenery pass by. He had never really explore Hawkins much. Never really had the time to. But maybe, after all of this shit passed, he would be able to do that with Steve.

That is, if he was alive after tonight.

“Hold on!” Steve shouts as he bounds down the road.

Billy tightened his grip on the car door, trying not to think about how nice the cool air felt on his face. He needed to make it through his.

The gunshots rang through the air, scaring the ever-loving-shit out of him. The only person that knew how to shoot a gun out of the group was Nancy and that would mean that — no, there was no way that she was trying to shoot that monster!

“Steve, hurry up!”

“I’m driving as fast as I can!”

Billy kept his eyes ahead, the parking lot coming into view. And there stood Nancy, right in front of her car, shooting at one that was coming straight for her! Billy clamped his eyes shut and braced for impact as Steve rammed their yellow car right into the one going towards Nancy and the kids.

Steve drove the car right into the incoming one, Billy’s head lolling onto Steve’s shoulder. Their car turned and drifted in circles around the lot, making track marks across the road. What the fuck just happened?

Billy opened his eyes, not even realising they were shut, and was welcomed by the sight of a blue car bursting into flames with a woman — Heather — sitting at the front. And, Billy wanted to feel sorry for her, wished that they could switch places. But he wasn’t sorry, he was alive. For now.

“Are you okay?” asked Steve as he put his hands on Billy’s face.

“I have no fucking idea.”

Billy laughed an empty laugh and felt the burn of his veins underneath flesh. It was worse. It was so much fucking worse. He broke away from Steve’s hands, opening the car door, falling onto the cold pavement. He needed to get all of these fucking sweaters off — it was all too hot!

“Billy?!”

“We have to go, Steve!” shouted Lucas.

“Nancy, help me with him!”

Billy felt the warmth of four hands pulling him up from his armpits. This couldn’t be happening now, not now! He heard the growl and the screech of the monster behind him. It was all his fault! They were going to die — Steve was going to die and it was going to be all because he couldn’t walk on his own goddamn fucking feet!

The hot, blistering pain of the car seat hitting his head, the muttered apologies and the car door slamming — it was all too loud, all too much, all too fast. He needed to get out of his skin, tear himself open and get rid of the thing inside of him.

“Murray,” he heard through the radio. “Your code is wrong.”

“What, how could it be wrong? I mean, I guess it could be wrong—”

“You guess it could be wrong?!”

“The monster is getting—”

“Do you copy—”

“Planck’s Constant—”

“Billy—“

“Burning up—”

“Do you know Planck’s Constant—”

“Nancy, drive—”

“Where’s El—”

“The fireworks—”

“Billy, can you hear me?”


	14. XIV

Steve didn’t know what to do. Billy was going to burn a hole through the car seat with how hot he was. Billy’s body was sweating black goo, it was sticky and hot against Steve’s skin. But he held him. He held onto him as if his life depended on it.

And he tried, Steve tried to drown out the sounds of everyone screaming because he couldn’t think about anything — he couldn’t focus his fucking mind on one thing at a time — he just needed everything to stop. 

He closed his eyes, clenching them shut, trying not to let anything out. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep until the end of time and then he wouldn’t have to worry about anything ever again.

But they screamed on.

“Come on, Steve,” he whispered to himself, “You gotta get a hold of yourself. Come on, come on, come one!”

He opened his eyes and looked down at Billy. He kept his eyes trained on him, and no one else. He wouldn’t listen to the babble about Planck's Constant. He wouldn’t worry about the kids.

“Billy, can you hear me?” Steve asked, lightly slapping Billy’s face. “You — you gotta look at me, man. Please.”

Steve shook his body, looking down at the bleary-eyed man in his lap. This had to work. It had to. Hop and Joyce would find a way to destroy the gate. El, Mike and Max would meet up with them and everything was going to be okay!

“Billy, can you hear me?”

He grunted under the force of his palm, his eyes focussing on Steve. Billy blinked wearily, his har sticking to his face.

“Steve,” he croaked. He cleared his throat, itching at his arms, his veins, “Did we do it?”

“Not yet, buddy,” said Steve as he watched the monster through the back window. “Not yet.”

Billy sat up, his body pressed against Steve’s as he moved. Steve wrapped his arms around Billy. He didn’t want to let him go. He wasn’t supposed to be a part of this — this wasn’t even supposed to happen! The gate was closed, everything was good. But then, if none of this happened, Billy would have never even looked twice in Steve’s direction!

Steve hated the butterfly effect.

“Does anyone know Planck’s Constant?” he heard Hopper ask.

“We’ve been shouting about this for the last few minutes,” shouted Dustin, “If anyone knew they would have said it by now!”

Steve closed his eyes and raked his fingers through BIlly’s hair. They were doomed. They were so utterly fucked and it was all because they didn’t know a simple chain of numbers. Fuck.

“Planck’s Constant?” asked Billy.

“Yeah — Hop and Joyce need the password because Murray had the wrong set of numbers,” said Steve.

“No — I got that, I just,” he paused clawing at his wrists, “Didn’t we learn this in class or something? I know — I know I’ve heard it somewhere before.”

Nancy spoke up, her eyes glued to the road, “I don’t think we did anything like that at school. I would have remembered.”

“No, but, maybe at summer school or something? Wasn’t it—” he groans, his veins moving as if they had thick jelly trapped underneath his skin. 

“If you know the number, now might be a good time to say it!” rushed Lucas.

“Shut up,” said Billy, swallowing thickly.

He made a ‘give it here’ motion to Lucas, but he just held tightly onto the radio. Steve leaned forward, plucking t out of Lucas’ hands and placing it in Billy’s lap.

“Hopper,” said Billy, closing his eyes, “Try 6.62607003.”

The radio silence as Hopper typed in the password. The blood pounding in his ears, the monster slamming its feet onto the ground behind him. Steve’s heart, hands, mind — it felt like everything had froze. As if he was watching his body move on its own, like it was not his own.

“It’s not right.”

Steve felt his heart drop into his stomach. No — Billy had to right, he was so sure! How could he just think of a random, specific string of numbers and be wrong? If they don’t have the password, then Joyce and Hopper wouldn’t be able to destroy the gate. The Russians would still have access to whatever there hell they were doing and — fuck! Fuck!

“Are you sure that you didn’t miss-hear me—” 

“Kid, you don’t know the code. We’re done.”

“No, no, I know the code. I know I know the code!’

Steve could feel the telltale feeling of tears behind his eyes. The pinprick of sorrow and frustration — everything that he had been holding onto for so long. Down, down, down they roll. 

“Let me try again,” said Billy. “Please.”

“Okay,” sighed Hopper, “But don’t get your hopes up.”

“6.62607004. Try 6.62607004.”

“We’re in,” said Hopper.

\- - -

“Oh, thank fuck,” Steve exhaled.

Billy dropped the radio into his lap, falling back onto Steve. He was right. The number was right. He hated Neil and everything that he made him do, but thank the fucking lords that he made him do summer school.

He laughed a sorrow filled laugh and held held Steve’s hands in his. Maybe after they get rid of this monster it’ll take whatever’s inside of him as well. Billy turned around on the spot, practically straddling Steve, and rested his head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and inhaled. Steve smelt of home. Not his house with Neil, but a new home.

And it hurt so much. As the monster got closer and closer it felt like his bones were shifting inside of him, like his organs were trying to turn themselves inside out. Billy couldn’t stand it. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to get infected?

It felt like someone was twisting a knife deeper and deeper into his stomach, telling him, screaming at him, the things that he had done to disappoint everyone. The things that he felt guilty for. It felt as if someone had taken an ice cream scoop and dipped it in ice water, digging into his eyes and serving him up.

And it burned and it burned and it burned and it burned and it burned.

Until it didn’t.

He opened his eyes and looked out the window. Why were they in the car again?

“It’s turning around,” said Billy.

“What?” shouted Nancy.

“The monster — it’s turning around.”

Billy tilled his head back, expected a mass of bodies and black gunk to be begin him, but he was met by the retreating back of the monster and its path of destruction. Billy grasped Steve’s hand, making sure that he was still there.

Billy leaned back against the cool glass, shutting his eyes. They could stop running. The monster wasn’t after them anymore. It was headed back to the mall. Away from them. Away from Steve. 

Hopper must have destroyed the gate, finished the job. And the monster must have been running back in a last attempt to save itself. Everything was done. Everything was calm. Billy would be able to live his life out, away from every monster in his life.

It was all going to be okay.

“Nancy turn around!” Steve shouted.

No.

“Why would we go back the way the monster came?” said Lucas.

No, no, no.

“Mike and El and Max are still at the mall.”

The car swung itself around, speeding down the road that the monster had came. What kind of sick joke was this supposed to be? Why couldn’t this all be over? He didn’t want Max to be in danger — yeah, Billy had said some bullshit to her, but he wasn’t going to let her die. She couldn’t die, she couldn’t!

He wanted to shut his eyes, clamp them shut, glue them together. Wait for everything to be over. But they were wide and they were staring at the road passing by, the trees, the sky, the stars in the night, blinking and bright, mocking him from so far away.

“Steve,” he whispered. “If you can’t save me—”

“No, don’t think like that, we’ll find a way—”

He didn’t want to turn around. Billy couldn’t face Steve and ask him to do this, he couldn’t ask him to do anything. Steve was good, rightfully and wholly. He couldn’t ask him to do this. But he had to make sure. If there was no way to save him — if he was only ruining Steve’s life, Max’s life. He wouldn’t want to be there.

“But if you can’t save me,” he breathed, “If you can’t find a way to get this- this thing out of my body. Please,” he held his hands tight, “Please kill me.”

“Billy,” Steve whispered. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Steve, promise me, okay? You have to promise me.”

He didn’t let go of his hands. He didn’t breathe, he didn’t blink, he couldn’t think of what he would do if he said no. If he didn’t promise to end his suffering. This was for Steve’s own good as much as it was for Billy’s.

“Okay,” he said. “I promise.”

Billy’s body slammed forward, making him hit his head on the seat in front of him. The burning inside of him was softer, as if it wa sonly and afterthought. But it was there. He knew it was.

“Do you see that?” asked Nancy.

“It’s pretty hard to miss,” said Lucas.

Billy kneeled in his spot, leaning over the seats, looking out the front window. And there it stood in all it’s glory. The Mind Flayer. It was convulsing, pulsating and twitching. It screamed and screeched. The mall lights blinked on and off, the bight lights straining his eyes. He could spot Heather’s destroyed car — he could see Max! 

“Gate’s destroyed — how’s it holding up on your end?” asked Hopper through the radio.

The monster swayed from side to side, crushing cars underneath its feet. The ‘bones’ in its body shifted and poked out from their fleshy prison. The Mind Flayer screamed a blood curdling scream and it—

“Somethings happening, Hop,” said Steve, climbing out of the car. “The Mind Flayer, it’s uh,”

—It turned itself inside out, throwing up its outsides, wearing it’s insides. It sunk to the ground in a pile of red and black sludge, sizzling on the pavement, despite there being no sun. 

“—Dead.”

“—What the fuck.”

“—Did you see that?”

“—Mike, El, Max!” 

The sight made Billy sick to his stomach with joy. Or maybe that was just butterflies because it’s finally over. The monster is fucking dead — Hop did it, Joyce did it, he did it! He jumped out of the car door, taking Steve by the waist and swinging him around.

“We did it!” he shouted.

“We did it,” agreed Steve.

Billy was ecstatic. He felt as if he wa son top of the world. He smiled so hard it hurt his lips and he lunged forward, kissing Steve straight on. He could hear the groans of the kids (and Nancy and Jonathan) behind him, but he didn’t care. They were safe. 

He was brimming with happiness and the butterflies in his stomach were raging to get out, tickling his sides and—

“Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m absolutely—”

Billy could feel the irony in his statement as soon as he said it. The bile mixed with black sludge swan in his stomach, out of his veins. It crawled up his throat and—

There it goes, all over Steve’s shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long! Rest assured, however long it might take, I will finish this story. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this journey, and I hope that you keep with me 'till the end! :)


	15. XV

Steve had no idea what just happened. His arms resting on either side of Billy, the kids in the car staring at him in shock, Nancy and Jonathan getting out of the car. He stood there blinking, letting the thick liquid slide down his shirt and onto the pavement. What the hell just happened?He was just glad that he didn’t have his mouth open, really. Steve remembered when he was younger, when the air was hotter, when he was closer to his dad. Mr. Harrington would spray him with the water from the hose, the groundwater leaving a sick taste in Steve’s mouth. 

“Oh, fuck, I’m sorry.”

Steve blinked a couple more times, just for good measure, and then focussed, really focussed on what just happened. Billy had twirled him around. Billy had kissed him. And then, he had thrown up.

Billy had taken a step away from him, out of Steve’s arms. He was wiping the back of his hand across his lips, smearing the last dregs of the black sludge across his cheek. Wait, black sludge?

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, “What even is— no, we need to get out of this carpark, get everyone back home.”

Billy took off one of the many layers that he was wearing, offering a jacket to Steve. He took it graciously, zipping it all the way up, covering the bile underneath it. He could worry about his appearance later. He needed to make sure that everyone was safe.

“Hopper,” Steve called through the radio, “Billy, Jonathan, Nance and I are gonna drop the kids home. El can come back with me or I can drop her at Mike’s—”

“Steve,” he heard Hop sigh, “They’ll need to go back to yours.”

“What? Yeah, I get El but—”

“There’s no easy way to put this,” he groaned. 

And Steve could just feel the exhaustion in his voice. The pain, the anger, the longing to see his kid. To see El safe.

“There’s no way that the government fucks or— or whoever was running this operation — wouldn’t have noticed what we did.”

“The town,” whispered Nancy, “All of the people that were consumed into that monster— The Mind Flayer — there’s no way there won’t be questions.”

The silence was heavy on his shoulders, weighing him down. Steve knew what it meant. Knew what the ‘innocent questions’ would entail. Documents and pictures, signing things that he didn’t understand. Comforting the kids the best he could, sleepless nights filled with tears. Oh, so many tears.

So the kids couldn’t go back to their homes. Who knew if someone in Robin’s or Max and Billy’s or Lucas’ or Dustin’s or Nancy and Mike’s family was part of that monster. They couldn’t go home and lie to their parents — if they were even still there — as to why there were ‘nice men in a suits wanting to talk to them.’

“Okay,” Steve said, knowing that it wasn’t the black liquid crawling down his back making him feel sick. “We’ll meet you there?” 

“Yeah, we’ll meet you there.”

Steve looked back at the kids, all huddled up in the car, staring at him with sullen faces. They were smart. They knew exactly what was about to happen. He nodded his head in the direction of the car, Max, Mike and El climbing in.

He held out his hand for Billy’s, squeezing comfortingly as they stuffed themselves into the backseat. Steve knew how bad it was going to be for everyone — but they had done it before. They had lived through the human monsters that came dressed in suits and ties. But Billy hadn’t. 

“Where to?” asked Nancy.

“My place,” Steve said, “We’ll meet Hop and Joyce there.”

The low rumble of the car was enough to steel Steve’s face. He let go of Billy’s hand, leaning his face into his palms as his arms rested on his knees. The car was cramped and stuffy and they had just killed a monster, but all Steve could focus on were the stares directed at him, begging him to tell them everything.

\- - -

The drive back to the Harrington household wasn’t a long one. The roads seemed to stretch for miles ahead of them before they could see the flickering lights in the forest. The house towered over them, the exterior cold and unforgiving. As they watched Steve fish keys out of his pocket, they were all greeted by the honey warm softness as he opened the door. They were home.

Billy watched Steve as he walked around the house, his head ducking in and out of rooms erratically. What the hell was he doing?

“Steve,” said Billy, “You okay?”

He didn’t jump or flinch, just turned around with exhaustion in his eyes and a frown on his face.

“Oh, Stevie, come here.”

Billy opened his arms, and Steve complied. The hushed whispers coming from the living room didn’t bother Billy. He rubbed comforting circles on Steve’s back as they stood in the laundry room.   
Sure, maybe Billy didn’t understand what Steve was worried about. He listed off idea and theory in his head. The monster was dead, Billy was fine, the kids were safe. What else did Steve care about? Who else? Hopper and Joyce were on their way, so it couldn’t be them.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re not going to like it,” said Steve.

“More than I don’t like you being stressed?”

“More.”

“Do you want to tell me?” Billy asked.

“Not really, but I’d rather you be prepared for what’s going to happen.”

Billy stayed silent, the soft circles he was tracing coming to a stop with a hitch in his breath. This was about him? Did he fuck up? Yeah, throwing up on your boyfriend’s shirt right after you kiss him isn’t ideal, but this couldn’t be about him.

“You might have guessed that, with everything that’s happened in our town, our government isn’t just going to keep quiet and let us be,” he inhaled deeply, resting his on Billy’s shoulder, his voice soft and muffled, “Hop said that they’re coming again. Or — he thinks they’re coming again. We weren’t as quiet as the last time we dealt with this and—”

Billy can feel Steve tense in his arms. Government officials and monster of all kinds — no wonder Stevie was stressed. All of this weight being placed upon his shoulders. Sheltering everyone in his home as they cried and then eventually left. But he had to stay.

“They’re going to speak to you,” Steve said. “Because you were possessed and they’ll know that — they always know.”

“I’m going to be fine, Steve.”

“I know you, but you can’t fault me for feeling stressed. You’ve never seen these guys before — I have. They’ll take pictures and prod and poke—”

“—And I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

Billy steadied Steve, his hands on his shoulders. Talking and pictures — he could do that. That was easy. He’d just answer their questions and they’d leave and they’d never bother them again. Right?

A soft knock on the door brought them back, Max leaning against the doorframe. She looked troubled. Her eyebrows were knitted into a deep frown as she saw Steve. He looked like a mess. His hair was messy and slick, shoulders hunched in on themselves. He was still wearing the jacket from before to hide the vomit on his shirt, but his eyes were kind and strong.

“Hopper’s here. He said he wants to talk to all of us,” said Max.

\- - -

It didn’t take long for the men in suits came. Hopper had talked to everyone before hand — mere minutes before they had shown up. He sat everyone down and explained what was going to happen. They would take pictures of Billy, they would ask everyone questions.

And Steve hated it.

They had tried to take pictures of Will and El, but the harsh glares from Joyce, Hopper himself and Billy had stopped them.

“They’re just kids,” said Hopper. “Leave them alone.” 

And the steel in his voice said that he wouldn’t budge, not for some big government scientist trying to take pictures of his kids. Steve was glad that he was there — he didn’t know what he would do without him.

Hopper had insisted to sit in on every single examination. He stood near the door of the guest bedroom as the men asked people questions. They wanted all the questioning to be done with just one kid and the interrogator. But Hopper wasn’t having any of that.

Steve sometimes wished that he had Hopper as a dad. When he thinks of his own father all he can feel is resentment and regret. But if anyone deserved Hopper as a dad, it was El. He imagined the two of them down at the pool, laughing and messing around. It suited them.

The next few weeks were a blur. Flashing pictures and concerned tones — everyone had stayed at his house as long as they could. Whether it was for themselves or for Steve, he didn’t care. He just needed to make sure they were safe. But the time came when they had to go home. Mike and Nancy left with stinted hugs to the group, Lucas and Dustin the same. The Byers had helped around the house as long as they could.

With their soft eyes and kind hands he told them to go home, get some rest.

While Billy was asleep, Max and El had come to see Steve. Her eyes were whirlwinds of love and sorrow. She gave Steve a quick hug, and words came tumbling out her mouth.

“I have to go back to my house, but you can’t let Billy leave. He can’t be back there,” said Max.

“I won’t. I’ll drive you, yeah? We’ll just wake him and you can say your goodbyes.”

“Keep him safe,” said El.

“I will.”

Hopper had awoken with a grunt as El tapped his hand. Steve had only let out a few words of taking Max home before Hopper nodded with understanding. They woke Billy up, and he and Max had cried together. But Max had to go home, and Billy couldn’t follow.

She hadn’t cried during the car ride, but she had hugged Steve tight before disappearing into her front door.

\- - -

Steve and Billy had held each other tight during the night as the woods that surrounded the house shook with the late winds. Every bump in the night, every car driving by, made them flinch. And then came the nightmares. They both got them, Billy more so than Steve. But Steve was okay with staying up late and hugging each other until they passed out. They would always have time to talk in the morning.

When the Byers — and Hopper and El — decided to leave Hawkins, no one could blame them. They shed tears and held each other tight. And Will had talked to Billy about having the monster inside of him. Billy — he tried to put up a hard face, but Steve had known better. When they were back into the safety of Steve’s house, they had cried.

And they had talked and kissed and cried some more.

They continued their talk about leaving Hawkins — getting the fuck out of Indiana. They would buy a nice apartment near the beach, they would have plants in the kitchen and photos of the kids on the wall. 

It was a nice dream, something that they could hold onto for years to come. Even though he brought it up first, Steve knew he couldn’t leave just yet, and he had the slight suspicion that Billy couldn’t either. Max was still here for Billy, and Steve couldn’t leave the kids. 

\- - -

They laid in bed, Billy tangling his fingers through Steve’s long hair. The warm summer light pooled through the crack in the curtains. Though half awake, Steve could tell that it made Billy’s skin glow golden.

All the kids had kept in touch. El had started sending letters to everyone — and sometimes there was even a haphazardly written note from Hopper. Joyce and Hopper were together. When Steve received that letter — a full handwritten letter that switched between curly letters and blocky capitals — his jaw had hurt from smiling.

“You know I love you, right?” it was said offhandedly by Billy as Steve was blinking away bleary eyes.

“Of course,” Steve murmured, “Love you too.”

He couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the extremely long wait for this. I know this ending feels rushed, but if I tried to continue with this project I feel as if it would take me years (and I don't want to make anyone wait any longer).
> 
> I hope that everyone is well in times like these -- please stay safe, and please stay happy! :)


End file.
